最終話（超絶改稿）みんなの心への応援コメント
Congratulations on a story well done, there's still a lot I would like to know about Shun, Nagare, Himari, Haruki, and the relationship with Marai right now it's just guess work on my side, there where some phrases that I'm not sure translated correctly, later I'll reread the story all at once so I can get a better feel of the flow of the story, I'm also trying to learn to use a new AI chat-gp, I haven't used it on a story I haven't read yet. Thanks for completing the story at a good point, see you later on another story/
第36話（超絶改稿）明かりが灯る日々への応援コメント
Haruki says something during lunch that causes him trouble with the other boys, than Nagare mentions marriage and causes trouble for Shun, it's a hilarious story,and very much a rom-com, both Himari and Nagare are happy with their own boyfriend, and Shun and Haruki are happy also, it's only their classmates that aren't happy.
第35話（超絶改稿）貴方への『愛してる』への応援コメント
Shun finally decided he wanted to be a doctor to help Nagare get better, she feels cursed, she feels better around Shun. Shun kissed Nagare on the cheek to show how he feels about her. Haruki and Himari are getting along like a Bacouple, they both are studying hard for their future.
最終話（超絶改稿）みんなの心への応援コメント
完結おめでとうございます！！！(*´∀｀*)ﾎﾟｯ
最終話（超絶改稿）みんなの心への応援コメント
完結おめでとうございます。
ハッピーエンドの最終回良かったです。
第34話（超絶改稿）グレーゾーンに立ち向かうへの応援コメント
While talking to Mr Sato they were watching his little sister Koharu-chan play, Nagare, and Shun were trying to get Sato to try and better himself, and to quit putting himself down, they kept trying to tell him that he was a better person than he let himself believe, it seems that Koharu-chan is a mild autistic child, not bad enough to be helped, but not really able to do good in school, Sato dotted on his little sister, when she came over to where the three were talking, she climbed into her brothers lap, when she reached out to the stream Mr Sato was surprised, she didn't usually interact with strangers, Nagare who is wanting to get into social work, was glad to interact with her. Tanks for a sweet story,I'll be waiting for the next update.
第33話（超絶改稿）優しく歩み出した世界への応援コメント
Himari gave up on Shun and turned to Haruki who she had noticed recently, and she started to care for him, whether she knew how he felt about her or not she was having feelings for him, even though she had a long history of liking Shun, she was feeling like she couldn't win against Ryu for a while. Thanks for starting to tie up loose ends, it's interesting , intriguing, and enjoyable, THANKS for the episode, I'll calmly wait for the next update.
第7話（超絶改稿）絶望への反撃への応援コメント
誤字報告、失礼します。
>「梅毒はエイズとは違う。不死の病じゃない。
不治(ふじ)の病、ではないかと。
編集済
第32話（超絶改稿）言葉の重みへの応援コメント
Shun ran into MrSato again, he talked about ,because his family was poor he had been used as a pawn by Mari, and he was really down on himself, Shun tried to cheer him up, but didn't succeed, Thanks for the update.
第31話（超絶改稿）揺れる心への応援コメント
Haruki likes Himari, although Himari likes Shun, Shun likes both Himari and Nagare, but he like Nagare a bit more.
編集済
第30話（超絶改稿）甘いコーヒーとスポドレへの応援コメント
Shun and Ryu are still embarrassed by the accidental kiss, Himari senses something and asks Shun to not play games, to make a serious decision about Ryu and her, Himari all ready feels like she won't be chosen, but Shun can't even make a decision about the girls until the problem with Mari is settled. Thanks for the up date, I'm looking forward to the next up date.
作者からの返信
This is Akinori. thank you always. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for your feedback.
Now.
What can I say, Shun and Naru are really adorable.
It feels sweet and sour. Yomari and the others are also young! It looks like he's enjoying it. It's already finished, but I hope you enjoy it.
I've also written a new novel, and I'll be writing the sequel soon. Thank you. Sorry for the various delays. (^^)
Akinori
第29話（超絶改稿）キス.....？への応援コメント
When Shun was hit by a running kid in the library, he was pushed into Ryu and his lips landed on her cheek like a kiss, Ryu was excited and pleased when it happened, she's really likes Shun so much that she wants to make a family with him, not just siblings but Husband and Wife. Himari also likes Shun a lot, she didn't realise it though until after Shun was already involved with Ryu, but when Ryu was involved with Mari while trying to protect Himari, Shun and Ryu broke up because of the way Ryu was feeling about herself, so Himari took advantage to tell Shun how she felt about him, then both Himari and Ryu decided to compete for Shun. Thanks for an interesting romantic comedy, it's very enjoyable, I'll try to wait calmly for the next update, see you then.
作者からの返信
I am always grateful for your help. Thank you for your thoughts. I am happy that you wrote your impressions. I am truly grateful. Also, I think that my impressions are always long and my hands get tired. Thank you for that as well. I'm happy just to have you watching. Now let's move on to the content. Certainly. There is something called cheek kiss in foreign countries. I can't say it's the same thing, but I tried to make it look like it. The meaning may be different. Naru, Shun, and Yomari have a united bond. But only one person can win. It's frustrating, but that's the world. Thank you for calling it an interesting romantic comedy. If I could convey even just a little bit of my gratitude to you, there would be no greater happiness than that. Good luck to you. Thank you.
Akinori
第28話（超絶改稿）鞠の幼馴染への応援コメント
Mr Sato, who was Mari's childhood friend, couldn't stand the change that Mari went through, so he departed from his gang, he was apologetic to Nagare and Shun, he wants to talk to them later but Nagare isn't sure if she'll be able to go along with talking to him about Mari, thanks for the update, I'll be calmly waiting for the next update.
作者からの返信
Hello. Thank you for reading. Thank you. I'm sorry for sending you so many direct mails of your impressions. By the way, Mr. Sato is going to be an important person. I think it's a good opportunity to show your skills how well you can express these things. I'll do my best. Only a little space is left. I'm still working on the plot. So I can't write yet. I also said that I have time savings, but I also have to do college assignments, which slows everything down. Excuse me. I am very sorry. There will be a gap, but I would be happy if you could still read my book. Sorry for the late reply.
akinori
編集済
第27話（超絶改稿）命の大切さへの応援コメント
Working with the disabled is very rewarding, I was tasked with helping a blind boy get around in middle school, we shared the same classes, he could get very upset if he thought he was being made fun of by someone, but as long as he was calm he was a nice person, as that school year went on he became easier to get along with.Ryu was calmed by seeing people that had a harder life then her not willing to give up, while helping them she could feel their determination to do the best that they could, she might even have felt that she might like to help take care of them in the future if she could. Haruki was targeted because he was a known friend of Shun's, he couldn't do anything about it and talking while trying not to get hurt was for the best for him, he didn't really know anything that could hurt Shun and Ryu, it was used more of a distraction, than anything else, Mari was trying to break them apart, but it didn't work.Thanks, the story is veering off the main plot line at the moment, but I'm sure it's more background for the main story, THANKS for the update, calmly waiting for the next update, see you then.
作者からの返信
Hello. I'm late to say hello. very sorry. And while saying good evening, you probably have a time difference. Let me say hello. Thank you for your help. I have read your impressions. Certainly off the plot at this point. This is where we are struggling to get the route back. I'm not good at writing novels myself, so it might be hard to read. I thank you. Still, thank you for reading. And then... that's right. Have you ever lived with someone with a disability? I see. I will probably get a job to help people with disabilities, so your impressions are very helpful. And I realized again that you are a very kind person. I already knew from your writing that you were a kind person. I look forward to the day when I can write another interesting story. That's exactly what Haruki was targeted for. You are right. As a side note, I think Haruki was targeted because he's my best friend. But I think you can understand that without me having to explain it. I will also write a reply with my impressions. Since the time of the number of days is accumulated as savings, the savings are released. Please let me write your reply gradually.
akinori
第26話（超絶改稿）怒涛の展開への応援コメント
Mari was one step ahead, he might have made a slip, but I don't believe it, it could be another setup, I didn't even think about Haruki, thanks for the update.
作者からの返信
Thank you for reading. You're always one step ahead, aren't you? But soon all will be revealed. It looks like Haruki did it. It may not be immediately obvious. But I'm sure it will become clear. Please look forward to the timing. Thank you for always supporting us. It would be nice if this feeling was conveyed to you even just a little. Now what happens? Please wait.
akinori
第26話（超絶改稿）怒涛の展開への応援コメント
急転直下、誰が何をしていたのか。明らかになるのは次回かな。
作者からの返信
みどりの様。アキノリです。
この度もご感想、誠に有難う御座います。
また遅くなりました。
大変申し訳ないです。
急転直下です。
ただこれ次に明らかになるとは限らないですね。
まだ時間を掛けて明らかになっていくと思いますが。
そんなに明らかになるには長くはならないでしょうね。
この先もご覧下されば嬉しい限りですが。
何時も有難う御座います。
感謝致します。
アキノリ
第25話（超絶改稿）鞠の攻撃への応援コメント
Did Mari hack into Himari's cell phone or could it be his mother?? Mari has many people following them, he probably got Shun's number off of flow's cell, thanks for the update, and another unexpected twist, I expected the girl's to be the target.
作者からの返信
It's Akinori. thank you always. Thank you very much for this time. Now for the content. I agree. Creating unexpected developments is also my special skill and feature. As long as I'm happy if I was able to change what you expected even a little unexpectedly. By the way, I don't think Mari did any hacking. An insider is close to the cause. Well, I still don't know what's going to happen next. But I also want Mari to be punished sloppily
akinori
第5話（超改稿）絶望に落ちる時への応援コメント
＞直接奉仕はしてない。だから貞操は守れているとは思うけど、とも。
この辺はあまり分かりません。セックスはしてないってこと？
それともゴムを使っていたから「直接」ではないということ？
性病は口の麺膜から入って来たということ？
作者からの返信
@dowa_sureta様。アキノリです。この度は数ある小説よりご感想誠に有難う御座います。
遅くなりました。
文章が下手くそで申し訳ありません。
分かりづらかった様ですね。
要はセックスはしてないです。
口からの感染ですね。
ゴムはしてないままフェ◯をやってしまった様です。
鞠自体が元から汚い人間ですので、です。
因みに口からの感染。
その辺りはまた分かりやすく書き換えたいと思います。
大変申し訳ありませんでした。
分かりづらく申し訳ないです。
読んでくださったにも関わらず恐れ入ります。
アキノリ
第25話（超絶改稿）鞠の攻撃への応援コメント
内通者は春樹君濃厚かな？
作者からの返信
@fullpow様。アキノリです。
この度はご感想誠に有難う御座います。
何時もお世話になっておりますね。
感謝です。
ハートマークも感謝です。
そうですねぇ.....何も言えません。（苦笑）
何か言ったら面白くなくなります。
でもどうなっていくかご覧下さい。
後悔はさせない様に.....物語を生み出しますね。
本当に感謝致します。
有難う御座いますと共に。
お暑い日が続きます。
熱中症にお気を付けて。
アキノリ
第24話（超絶改稿）なん.....だとへの応援コメント
サンオイルだと小麦色の肌になるんですけど、ビキニで日焼けは日焼け跡がくっきり残ってエッチになっちゃいますね。
作者からの返信
みどりの様。アキノリです。
またも感想有難う御座います。
執筆が忙しいと思われる中で感謝です。
あと.....熱中症に気を付けて。
大変暑いので。
サンオイル.....そうですねぇ。日焼けで.....まさにエッチになっちゃいますよねぇ.....は！
陽毬は.....それが目的で！！！！？（鼻血）
めっちゃエロい.....。（語彙力消滅）
まあとにかくこの先もご覧下されば嬉しいです。
何時もお世話になっております。
感謝致します。
本当に有難う御座います。( ・∇・)
願わくば最後までお付き合い頂ければ嬉しいです。
アキノリ
第24話（超絶改稿）なん.....だとへの応援コメント
Himari and Nagare are using the excuse of having Shun put suntan oil on their backs as a way to get him to touch them and tease him, and make him think about them, but right now Shun is only Nagare, Himari is at a disadvantage as she doesn't live with him like Nagare does.The flirty scenes of the girls are cute and Shun is so shy and bashful, even though he has been dating Nagare for a couple of years, thanks for the update see you on the next one.
作者からの返信
thank you always. Thank you very much for your feedback. Thank you. Dear Jim-1950. Be careful of heat stroke. But yes. It is very sensible to think it that way. You're shy. She looks cute. But that is certainly true. There is a slight difference, so I would like you to do your best in that area. to girls. I can only support you, but I want you to do your best. And Shun is the same, but I really envy him, so I want Shun to die somehow. just kidding. I would be happy if you read this ahead.
akinori
編集済
第23話（超絶改稿）海だ！ビキニだ？恋だ！への応援コメント
Next time the update should be sweet. Talk about memories and friendships strengthens Narage, and gives her a reason to live. >Narage believes she's dirty, but her friends have forgiven her, and don't blame her, she finds it hard, but is slowly accepting their feelings, with time she maybe almost normal again, what happened to her was not because she was naughty but because she was trying to help a friend in trouble, it was not her fault that her kindness was used against her.Thanks for the update, it's a good human relationship story.
作者からの返信
thank you. Thank you for your support. It always makes me feel really happy. You have analyzed everything. I can only thank you for this. I don't know what will happen next, but I would be happy if you could see it again. I don't think the flow will ever be defeated again. But there may still be a part that bends. But I'm sure you'll get over it. If it's 3 people. That's why I want you to live in the present.
akinori
第23話（超絶改稿）海だ！ビキニだ？恋だ！への応援コメント
どんな水着を買ったかは次回のお楽しみですね
作者からの返信
みどりの様。アキノリです。
この度もご感想誠に有難う御座います。
感謝致します。
有難う御座います。
さて.....そうですねぇ。
水着は結構.....私も気を付けて選んでます。
何というかそこら辺は大切だと思っています。
この度も有難う御座います。
そしていつも拝読有難う御座います。٩( 'ω' )و
アキノリ
第22話（超絶改稿）鞠の性病の原因への応援コメント
If Mari had a venereal disease and new it, he was deliberately spreading it around, all it would take is a long deep kiss, or contact from a bleeding wound, did he select Ryu because she was a friend of his sister, it could have been Himari just as easually.
Mari is twisted, he blames his misfortunes on others not admitting to himself that he is at fault for not trying his hardest and trying to correct his own mistakes, he doesn't even learn, and does the same thing over and over.
Ryu can't accept the mistakes she's made, and the hurt she feels she's caused those around her, even though they have already forgiven her for everything as it wasn't really her fault, her friends know that she was taken advantage of and used, she was targeted, when she tried to intervene, in the worst way '
Thanks for an interesting story, it makes me think, and lets me shut out my surroundings for a little bit. From your replies, it seems like you have a close understanding of what I'm trying to say. when I say it is enjoyable, to me anything that can lighten my mood is refreshing, like a late summer breeze cooling off the day.
作者からの返信
We become indebted to. I feel happy every time you write your impressions. Thank you. Well.....right. I have read your comments, and they are mostly as expected. It can be said that it is so. It seems that the ball was replaced and replaced. This is probably the reason why the venereal disease passed from Mari to Nagare. More details will be expressed later. Mari doesn't convince herself at all. blame others for everything. That's why the ball is the worst. Nagare is very concerned about his own dirt. That's why I wanted to die without bothering anyone. It may be a simple reason for wanting to die, but in general it looks like it's light, but it's actually different. It would be nice if I could express that part well. Mari is guilty. That is why he will soon be judged. I hope I can express an interesting story. I hope this gives you a little bit of fun. I would be very happy if so. Thank you for your help. I don't know how the story will end. But I can say one thing. At least I think everyone except Mari will be happy. We guarantee. Thank you for your hard work. And your expression is really nice.
akinori
第21話（超絶改稿）周りへの信頼を取り戻した流（下）への応援コメント
Being abused in elementary school and then her father abandoned her by committing suicide, she felt that the fact that she was molested was the reason her father killed himself, if only she had been stronger or did something different so that she wasn't molested than her father would still be alive>she can't get over the self guilt she feels, and keeps blaming herself for everything bad that is happening around her, even her mother remarrying so she could have a father. Shun is trying to show her how to look at things differently, but he has only partly succeeded. Thanks for the update, take your time, I'm sure you are busy in RL, make sure to get plenty of rest.
作者からの返信
thank you always. Thank you again for your feedback. Sorry for the late reply. I'd like to write a reply, but I'm sorry that I can't find the right time. As long as you are very happy to analyze it. I think it was good to write every time. It's another novel, but thank you for following me. And thank you for your review. I'll have a look at your well-written review later. I'm Japanese, so I'm not good at reading English, but I'll try to translate it somehow. I don't know if all your sentences can be translated and it's correct. But I'll do my best.
thank you for your hard work
akinori
第21話（超絶改稿）周りへの信頼を取り戻した流（下）への応援コメント
年齢を計算すると二人が13歳の時？
13歳の女の子が「これまで出会った男はみんな獣でした.....そして裏切りもあった」というような経験を積むのはどんな環境にいたのか気になりますね。
作者からの返信
みどりの様。アキノリです。
この度は.....すいません。
立て続けにお返事書きました。
お疲れ様です。
そうですね。
１３歳もしくは１２歳の時です。
今の日本の虐待の部分を表現しました。
実際.....そういうのがリアルで起こっているので皆さんに知ってほしいですね。
獣だった.....、ですがまあちょっと極端な表現だったかもですが。
それだけ妬んでいるという事を知ってほしかったのでその表現にしました。
環境は歪んでいる感じですが。
いつかは修正出来るでしょうと信じています。
この度も有難う御座います。( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
アキノリ
第20話（超絶改稿）周りへの信頼を流が失った過去（上）への応援コメント
ずっと瞬に守られて来たなら瞬を守るために自ら命を絶ちたいくらい思いつめるのも仕方ないのかもしれない。
でも流には自分の価値を知って自分を大切にして欲しいですね。
みどりのの小説は長いのでお暇なときにどうぞ。書いても書いてもストーリーが進まず泣きそうです(笑)
作者からの返信
みどりの様。アキノリです。
この度はお返事が遅くなりまして誠に申し訳ありませんでした。
いつも応援有難う御座います。
感謝しかございません。
そうですね.....まあその通りです。
瞬に守られてきた感じですからね。
流には人生の素晴らしさを知ってほしいですね。
思い詰めるというのが.....どれだけ悪いかも知ってほしいです。
そうなのですね。
長い.....のですか。
でもそういうのも気にはならないですけどね。
描いても描いてもストーリーが進まないのは逆にそれも個性があって良いんじゃないでしょうか。
私はそう思います。
泣きそうですかぁ.....大丈夫ですよ（笑）
私の小説なんかみどりの様に比べたらチンケですので。
アキノリ
第20話（超絶改稿）周りへの信頼を流が失った過去（上）への応援コメント
So Nagare was assaulted in late elementary school. That explains some of the things she has done, and why she didn't talk to Shun at first, she doesn't trust men except for Shun, so she doesn't want to rely on them, but she forgets Shun is different and forgets to rely on him, she still has a lot she needs to learn and unlearn, thanks.
作者からの返信
That's right. The full story of Ryu's past will be revealed further down the road. But I haven't been able to write a few sentences yet. very sorry. I may not be able to update today. Thank you for your time. I hope I can update tomorrow. Please look forward to it. You always take care of me. Thank you. you take the time to write Feelings that I will write to you. It really touches my heart. I study English too. so that your writing can be read.
akinori
第19話（超絶改稿）先に〇〇された方が勝ちって事でへの応援コメント
The girls were talking about Shun and how they felt about him before he returned. To keep Ryu from thinking of suicide her friend let Ryu know that she was after Shun also . Shun doesn't know how to take what the girls are doing, he really doesn't want to be the prize in their game, it's embarrassing for him how they are acting, thanks for the update.
作者からの返信
thank you always. Dear Jim-1950. Thank you for your feedback. Thank you very much. Now. is that so. Are you embarrassed? I laughed at your words. It's embarrassing for sure. You don't want to be a gift. But to be honest, I really envy the moment. I don't know what he's going to do, but I'd like to keep an eye on him. While praying for the happiness of her boyfriends. I want you to step forward. Thank you for your feedback. I would be happy if you read it again. Be careful of corona.
akinori
第19話（超絶改稿）先に〇〇された方が勝ちって事でへの応援コメント
陽毬ちゃんもつらいのに流のために勝負を持ち掛け未来を見せてあげる。
勝っても負けても未来にたどり着けるように。
イイですね。
作者からの返信
みどりの様。アキノリです。
そうですね。
確かにその通りです。
この度もコメントをして下さり感謝致します。
なかなかみどりの様の小説が読めず申し訳ないです。
いつも有難う御座います。
流の陽毬の。
未来が明るくなる事を願っています。
勝っても負けても良い未来はすぐそこだと思います。
というか勝ち負けとか無いでしょうね。
彼女達は神様が見ています。
その分.....幸せになるでしょう。
この度もご感想、誠に有難う御座いました。
更新まで今暫くお待ち下さい。＿φ(￣ー￣ )
アキノリ
第18話（超絶改稿）初心への応援コメント
親の姿も出てきて三人の絆も強くなってきた。
結構まともそうなお父さんだけどなぜ毬はあんなふうになっちゃったのか。
作者からの返信
みどりの様。アキノリです。
いつも拝読してくれて感謝致します。
それからたまにのご指摘にも感謝しかございません。
応援に感謝致します。
そうですね。
３人の絆が何処まで深まるか.....それが見ものですね。
果たしてそれが良い方向に転ぶか悪い方向に転ぶかは分かりませんが。
でもきっと良い道は開けると思います。
そんな敵の鞠の過去は後程に設定しますがまだ出てきません。
鞠は.....鞠なりの痛みがある様ですけどね。
だからと言って許す訳にはいかないでしょうけど。
この度もご感想誠に有難う御座います。٩( 'ω' )و
感謝致します。
アキノリ
第18話（超絶改稿）初心への応援コメント
Nagare and Shun are going to stay overnight at Himari's house, when Shun returned with luggage for the sleepover, Nagare was sitting on the couch blushing and smiling, while Shun was gone Himari and Nagare must have been talking about him and their feelings for him. THANKs for the update, it's very interesting.
作者からの返信
I am always grateful for your help. Thank you very much for your feedback. Now. Isn't it? I don't know how much of a maiden's secret she keeps a secret, but I'm jealous of Shun. It's not a problem that I can manage to stay overnight, but I think I should stay for now. That's why I stayed this time. But anyway, I'm a little jealous of Shun, so I'd like her to leave a little space..... Kidding aside. It's my job to update, so I'll let you update slowly. I think maybe the translation is wrong, but I didn't know if it was very funny or interesting. But no matter how you look at it, you've been supporting me all this time, and it won't change. I feel what you desperately want to convey. Be sure to write all the way to the end. Thank you.
akinori
第17話（超絶改稿）自殺未遂への応援コメント
Nagare is feeling guilty of hurting everyone else more than feeling sorry for what happened to her, she went to try and help Himari without really thinking of what could happen or how it could affect those around her, in one way or another she was raped mentally for sure, and if she got venereal disease on purpose that is worse, trying to get her counseling is the best for her. This story is so life like that I could know the people and be involved with them, you're making it so real life like, holding some things back but giving hints of what has been going on, THANKS for the update.
作者からの返信
We become indebted to. Thank you. I will reply to your article. I agree. That is certainly true. I think it's all speculation. The current is probably a gentle part. Nagare is a really good boy. He's a good boy, so he probably wanted to run away instead. Unfortunately, what you're saying is being raped. I don't know if you can express the story as the reader wants. It would be nice if I could express myself in a way that is easy for you to understand, even if only a little, in an interesting way. The story is too realistic and may not be a romantic comedy. But well, I'm categorizing it while thinking that it's a romantic comedy. In the future, it may be moved to romance instead of romantic comedy, but it is currently under consideration. Don't worry, it won't be erased. Since the story is realistic, I started to consider it because I felt that it was far from romantic comedy. I talked about unnecessary things that seemed to derail for a long time, but what I want to say is that I am always grateful. Thank you.
akinori
第16話（超絶改稿）鞠の電話への応援コメント
thanks for the update. Mari can't do anything physically right now, he's on the run, he's playing mental games, trying to upset them.
作者からの返信
Thank you very much. We become indebted to. Thank you for your hard work. I agree. I don't know if the translation of your sentence is correct, but it is. Mari is on the run, but she will be caught someday. It would be better for Ryu and Shun to mentally corner the ball. I don't think you can legally do that.
akinori
第15話（超絶改稿）職員室にカチコミじゃー！！！！！への応援コメント
The teachers want to suspend Nagare because she caught a venereal disease, someone outside the school used loudspeakers to let the whole school know, Shun and Haruki, and their fellow classmates who followed, went to the teachers office to complain about Nagare's suspension, the teachers didn't listen and told everyone to get out, but Haruki and Shun sat on the floor, the teachers threatened to call the police, but more and more students were showing up, than it looked like the teachers were going to negotiate. The teachers didn't realise that Nagare wae so popular that what they were going to do, without checking the facts, would start a revolt, Mari is still causing trouble, this will cause him trouble in the end, thinks for a good story.
作者からの返信
thank you always. Thank you very much for your feedback. Well, the story is as you can imagine. Thank you for your thoughts. Sorry for the late reply. The story about Ryu will continue, but I would like to aim for a development that will not get bored. Thank you for telling me a good story. I would be very happy if you could give me your impressions in a long sentence. I don't know if your translation is correct, but I will read all your precious impressions. I don't know when it will be, but I will write all the answers.
akinori
第15話（超絶改稿）職員室にカチコミじゃー！！！！！への応援コメント
誤字報告です。
１年棒
↓
１年坊
ですね。１年坊主の略なので。でも今どきはあんまり使わない言い回しかもしれないですね。
しかし、学外の不良の拡声器での暴言で事実確認なしに停学にしようとしたり教員も頼りにならないですね。
学生側も無実を主張するけどお互いに何が問題なのかすれ違ってるみたいに感じます。
作者からの返信
みどりの様。アキノリです。
この度もご感想とご指摘を頂きまして誠に有難う御座います。
感謝致します。
有難う御座います。
そうですね.....。
取り敢えず書いてから投稿している癖ですがやはり修正をするべきかな、と思います。
誤字は完璧な誤字ですね。
ちょっと拡声器はやり過ぎかと思いました。
そしてすれ違っているのは確かにその通りです。
仰る通りなのでここら辺は満足のいく様に話に影響がならない程度にチョッチだけ改稿します。
すいません。
この度もご感想有難う御座います。
取り敢えず今は忙しいのでまた後で改稿させて下さい。
有難う御座います。(^ ^)
アキノリ
第14話（超絶改稿）フラジャイルを恐れずへの応援コメント
In front of Shun, Nagare challenged Himare to a duel to see who could win Shun's heart, she called herself an ex-girlfriend at the time.Thanks, the story is interesting, enjoyable and very fun, the interaction between Nagare and Himari is so cute, <if I'm using the right word Nagare is being very "Tsundere".
作者からの返信
Thank you very much. Thank you very much for using your precious time and I am very sorry for the comments here and there. Well, are you a tsundere? It's good. That expression is nice. Certainly, the flow is based on the tsundere motif. It's great that you know tsundere. I like tsundere too. I don't care what you like. Thank you very much for your support. And you say that it's fun and fun, and I'm ashamed behind my computer screen. I strongly felt that even such a small novel can make you smile. It seems that you are reading other novels as well. I'm a little embarrassed. Please understand that you may not be satisfied. Just because I'm immature. Now. What will happen after applying for a duel? If you look at it, there is no happiness that beats it. Thank you. Thank you for your continuous support. It makes me happy to feel connected to the world.
akinori
第13話（超絶改稿）変動していく世界への応援コメント
was it Nagari asking Shun how he felt about Himari, and saying that Himari liked Shun. The translation is hard to follow with I's and you's, me's, Yomari-san, one persons name will change three to four times, usually I can understand the differences in sentence structures between English and Japanese, but it gets hard to understand when Google gets confused. It looks like Shun was used when it should have been Himari ("Yomari- san is you.....Do you like Shun? She asked"<> should be<>"Do you like Himari?"), thanks for the hard work.
作者からの返信
Thank you for reading. That's all right. It is difficult to understand. And there are probably mistakes. I am sorry. Also, regarding the name, I would like to rewrite it so that the nickname can be unified. I will be careful not to erase it this time. Thank you very much. By the way, Himari didn't say she likes Shun. I didn't say it directly. I'm sorry that I can't help it if I'm stretching only foreshadowing. If it's hard to understand, it's my complete lack of writing ability. I'm sorry. Thank you all the time. I will revise it next time. so as not to erase it.
Thank you very much for your hard work.
akinori
第12話（超絶改稿）流の考えへの応援コメント
It wasn't entirely by accident that Himari ended up in Shun's room, she had been thinking so much about him that she ended up in his room without thinking, of course it was a mistake for her to stay, Shun had been unconsciously worrying about her and unable to sleep, after talking and finding out that she had feelings for him that she had been trying to hide, he was more relaxed and fell asleep, the next morning Nagare was upset but she felt she didn't have the right to really say anything.
作者からの返信
Thank you for your continued support. Like you, this place where I was able to interact with various people is becoming an indispensable place for me. Thank you. Well, it's true, but it's true. I don't think I have the right to say I don't know if I should take your opinion in a bad way or in a good way. So I say nothing here. Himari was a bit of a badass this time. Then he's a bad guy. But things will change from here. I would be happy if you could see it.
akinori
編集済
第5話（超改稿）絶望に落ちる時への応援コメント
全身に発疹って梅毒じゃん
自分は梅毒もらってきた彼女はさすがに無理だなぁw
たまにこういう人ってキャバとか風俗でよく見るわ
こういう人は自分以上に恋人や家族を不幸にするから絶対に恋人にしちゃいけない
この話でも流は自分の行動のせいで彼氏を深く傷つけてるのに辞めようともしないし、本当はわかってるハズの唯一にして最短の解決方法である大人を頼ることを避けて代替手段で自分を犠牲にしてるだけ
そもそも解決する気がないんですよね
多分解決はしたくないんじゃないかな
自分が誰かの役に立ってるって感じられなくなるから
この手の女の人に手を出していいのは人を人と思わないようなDV男だけだと思う
マジで、、
作者からの返信
@fsemode様。アキノリです。
この度は長文による感想、誠に有難う御座います。
感謝致しますと共に。
内容が少しだけ過激なもので貴方様に受け付けなかったらゴメンなさいとしか言いようが無いですね。
恐れ入ります。
そうですね。
確かにキャバ嬢とか風俗ですよね。
完全な梅毒です。
なのでそこら辺は大きく表現を後にしています。
梅毒は感染症です。
なので恐れる部分もあります。
梅毒貰った彼女とかは愛せるか愛せないかはやはり人にもよるかと思います。
今回は物語を更に強く表現する為に使わせてもらいました。
この後の物語は更に発展していきます。
これがどう影響してくるかも後に記載があります。
今は何も話せません。
仰っている通りですね。
解決する気の.....そうですね。
確かに仰る通りです。
梅毒は恐ろしいですが一応治療は可能なので.....そこら辺の表記も忘れないでしっかり書きたいです。
この場所までコメントを下さり有難う御座いました。
また機会があったら読んでくれると嬉しいです。
感謝致します。
アキノリ
第14話（超絶改稿）フラジャイルを恐れずへの応援コメント
この話の中で「愛人」と書いてある部分は高校生だと「恋人」の方が一般的な気がします。
語感の問題なので参考までに。
作者からの返信
みどりの様。立て続けに申し訳ありません。
失礼します。アキノリです。
そうですね.....取り敢えずその部分は改稿しようかと思います。
何だか確かにおかしい気がしますので。
今はちょっと手が回らなくなってきているので後程に改稿します。
何時もご指摘、誠に有難う御座います。
体調を崩されない様にお過ごし下さい。
コロナが流行り始めたみたいなので。
有難う御座います。
それから.....参考にします。
感謝します。
アキノリ
第12話（超絶改稿）流の考えへの応援コメント
彼女がいるのに他の女の子と寝ちゃう男はもっと怒られてもいい。
自分の彼女が他の男と寝れたら男は脳が破壊される。そのぐらいの罪。
まあ流の場合はあんまり怒るとブーメランだから怒れないのでそこは瞬が気を付けてあげないと。
作者からの返信
みどりの様。アキノリです。
この度もご感想とご指摘、誠に有難う御座います。
有難う御座います。
感謝致します。
ですねぇ.....。（苦笑）
まあ今回は一応伏線という事で含ませました。
もっと怒られても良いと思いますがそれをしなかったのは伏線ですね。
それくらいの罪、だとは思います。
色々と申し訳ない。
流はあまり怒りすぎると可哀想ですもんね.....はい。
有難う御座います。
瞬がどう動いてあげるか、ですね。
この度も有難う御座います。
感謝です。( ・∇・)
アキノリ
第11話（超絶改稿）溢れ出す想いへの応援コメント
Himari expressed her feelings for Shun, Shun relaxed because he now knew what she had been hiding, the three or at least the two girls need to talk about their relationships to each other, thanks , patiently waiting.
作者からの返信
I don't know if the Japanese translation of the translation so far is correct, but I translated all of your precious impressions with Google Translate. Thank you very much. You are really the best person. As you said, I think both Himari and Shun are relaxed. But there will probably be one who wins this battle. But I don't think it's likely that the one who loses will be unhappy. I've always hated bad endings. So the chances of you being unhappy are close to zero. That's why I hope you can feel at ease around here. Himari likes Shun. And I like flow and moments. This is an infinite truth. It doesn't look like Mari's problem will be settled yet, but even so, with the power of the three of you, the ball's idiots will be able to sort it out. So please look forward to it. Thank you very much. May your life be bright.
akinori
第10話（超絶改稿）再生していく関係への応援コメント
Thanks, the three are starting to talk and act together.
作者からの返信
Thank you for your help. indeed. That's right. Thanks to that, Ryu, Himari, and Shun are now able to act together. The end of this story is yet to be seen. But I will make sure that you will not regret it. And I write what I want to write with the reader as the top priority. I am very happy that you always support me. Thank you very much. I'll correct any discrepancies.
akinori
編集済
第9話（超絶改稿）あなたと別れたくないへの応援コメント
THANKS for an interesting story! I'm enjoying it very much and I plan on reading to the end, I'll also look for your other works!
作者からの返信
We become indebted to. Thank you again for your feedback. I think that it is a great effort for you to write your impressions many times. I am very grateful and very happy that you write your impressions on each episode. Other works are less mature than this novel. So there are problems such as not being able to satisfy you or having contradictions. I'm very sorry, but please understand. The fix has not caught up. However, if you are satisfied with this even a little, that is my only happiness. I really appreciate your support. Thanks for saying it's funny. You are really great readers. Be sure to write all the way to the end. So please support me. If there is a contradiction, I will fix it, but this time I will not delete it.
akinori
第8話（超絶改稿）侵食への応援コメント
Shun and Himari were attacked by two older boys who were friends of Mari, one held down Shun while the other grabbed Himari and sliced her clothes, than two cops called by Nagare, showed up. Did Mari actually send them or was crying to them about how he was done wrong by his sister, and wants to get back at her. The scene where Mari was kicked out of the house, and admitted what he had done would be nice but is not necessary to this story. Nagare says she wants to breakup, but she can't let go of Shun. Sorry for being all over the place, my mind is disorganized, THANKS for an interesting story.
作者からの返信
Thank you for your help. Thank you for your feedback. I am sorry. It sounds like you are confused. In the story after this encounter, Mari is set to live alone. So she doesn't live at home like in previous stories. The setting is that she lived alone and ran away. More on the ball later. I can't come out now. However, he seems to be quite frenzied, so he will come out later. Because he will want revenge no matter what. I appreciate that you find it interesting, but I don't know if your translation into Japanese is really correct. So I'll keep it short here. I am encouraged by your interest. I don't know what will happen in the future, but if there are any sentences I wrote on my computer as another work, I would like to post them here. Unfortunately I can't find it. But it's not good to give up, so I'll do my best. Well, here the attack of the ball does not change, but the story will change further. If you look forward to it, there is no greater happiness than that. If you have any questions, please ask. Thank you
akinori
第7話（超絶改稿）絶望への反撃への応援コメント
I reread from the start. What Nagare went through is easier to understand, some of the deleted material would have helped, but it is fine the way it reads, Nagare is still wanting to break up with Shun, that's part of the story. Even with google, the story is understandable, as you say you may be an immature writer, but the way to grow is to keep writing, maybe I'm to into the story, I read it as I believe the intent was, even authors I have read for years have typo's and phrasing mistakes, but my mind will skip over them two or three times as I read and reread their stories, I'll go back looking for a sentence or paragh, and it can't be found, that's when I catch the mistakes. Since Nagare got a venereal disease, could Himari also have it, is that the package from the pharmacy she was trying to hide. THANKS for the story, it's very interesting, I'll look up your older posts.
作者からの返信
Dear Jim-1950. Thank you for your help this time. My novel disappeared due to a mistake. However, it seems that I managed to maintain the impressions left by you and others. It's a pity that it disappeared, but I'll write what I want to make from scratch again. If there is an old post in my computer someday, I would like to find it and expose it to this place. With apologies. I can only thank you for your support. Thank you. I always use google translate. I don't know if I can translate and read your sentence properly. I don't know if this is correct either. However, the only thing I can say is that I will finish writing it. Thank you again for your comments. This venereal disease was the original idea. This was actually my first route. So I write what I want to write. I would appreciate it if you could support meI am very happy to hear that you are interesting. I would appreciate it if you could be a little bit of a sustenance in your life. I hope this article will reach you.
akinori
第11話（超絶改稿）溢れ出す想いへの応援コメント
ヒロインが二人とも可愛くていいですね、陽毬ちゃんもグイグイ行って欲しい。
ちょっと気になったのが
前半では「俺は睡眠を取ろうと横になっていたが全く寝れない。」と言っていたのが、「眠たかったのがあって。(寝て)しまった。」となって逆転しています。
僕が受けたのは陽毬ちゃんが隣にいると心が安らいで、興奮してささくれた気持ちが落ち着いて眠りについたって感じのイメージなのでもうちょっと言葉を足した方がいいと思います。
作者からの返信
みどりの様。連続で申し訳ありません。
アキノリです。
この度もご感想とご指摘、有難う御座います。
因みに文章がおかしかったので改稿させて頂きました。
有難う御座います。
ヒロインは私も好きです。
この２人がどうなるか.....そして周りがどうなるか。
グイグイ行きそうで行かないかもですが。
それをご覧下されば幸いですね。
言葉足らずで申し訳ないです。
普通はそうですよね。
解りずらかったと思います。
ご指摘に感謝致します。
何時も有難う御座います。^ ^
私も小説が好きで書き始めました。
みどりの様の様なお節介さ、で、です。
いつか賞が取れる日を夢見て。
頑張ります。
みどりの様の事、応援しております。
お疲れ様です。
アキノリ
編集済
第9話（超絶改稿）あなたと別れたくないへの応援コメント
青春だなぁというのが今回の感想ですね。
次は陽毬ちゃんの心と向き合うターンを見たいですね。現状巻きこんじゃったという後悔だけが存在していそうですから。
みどりのはただの小説が好きなだけの一個人です。
暇なときにカクヨムを読んでていて一月前にたまたま物語が一つ降りてきてしまったので実作を始めたばかりで、作品を書くのは高校生の頃に文芸部で短編を書いて以来です。
ちょっぴりお節介で楽しく読んでいる作品に矛盾とかあるともったいないなぁって思ってコメント書いちゃうタイプです。
おかげで数人の作者さんと交流して作品を改稿したりして貰えました。カクヨムって交流できるいいところだなぁって思いながら自作を書いています。
一つ忠告というか思うのは、ラブコメというには重すぎるのでカテゴリーを「恋愛」に変更された方がよいのではないかと思います。
次回を楽しみにしております。
作者からの返信
みどりの様。アキノリです。
この度はご感想とご指摘を頂いたにも関わらずお返事が遅くなり申し訳ありません。
感謝致します。
何時も有難うございます。
何というか本当に有難うございます。
お節介なのは私も同じなのでそこは似たもの同士ですね。
この先がどうなるかは分かりませんがまあ.....取り敢えずは全てにおいて後悔はさせない様にしたいですね。
此方は２０話ぐらいまでストックを書きました。
その後はまた文章を書かないといけないです。
青春ですねぇ。
羨ましすぎますね。（苦笑い）
一個人様にしてはかなり色々と手慣れていますね。
何時も文章がおかしい部分のご指摘など非常に助かっております。
私自身も気を付けてはいますがなかなか。
有難うございます。
ああ。そうなのですね.....私はもう８年ぐらい小説を書いております。
私の方が先輩ですがなかなか。
まだまだ未熟ですね。（笑）
なかなか持病のせいで上手く書けない部分もありますので。
お節介なのは私もです。
たまに自主企画を立ててやってますが。
今はやってないですがそこで読みに行くのも楽しいですよね。
作者様と交流出来るのも良い点です。
そのお陰でカクヨムの第一次選考を突破した事はありますが未熟ですねぇ。（苦笑）
カテゴリーの変更は今は保留ですがそのうちに考えますね。
ご提案有難う御座います。
感謝致します。( ＾∀＾)
考えておきます。
アキノリ
第9話（超絶改稿）あなたと別れたくないへの応援コメント
更新お疲れ様です。
コメントへの返信ありがとうございました。
とても丁寧な、しっかりと想いの伝わる文章で返答していただき、アキノリ様は本当にとても誠実な作者様だなぁ、と思いました。
私の感想はあくまで私個人の価値観に基づくものなので、本当にお気になさらないで大丈夫ですよ！
作者様の他の作品も今まで一通り拝読しておりますし、楽しませていただいておりました。
実際改稿後は主人公の行動にブレがなくなり、物語の面白さも増してると思いますし、決して間違いではないと思います。
むしろ作者様のお話に水を差してしまったなら色々と申し訳ないです…、本当に面白いお話だと思いますので、是非このまま突っ走っていただければと思います。
応援しています、頑張ってください！
作者からの返信
@kk283様。アキノリです。
有難う御座います。
労って下さりまして誠に有難う御座います。
あなた様もお疲れ様です。
コメントのお返事の丁寧さだけが取り柄で御座います。笑笑
ですが昔よりはるかに成長していると実感出来ます。
@kk283の様な優しい方がたの読者様に恵まれて本当に幸せです。
私は意味のある事をやれていると実感出来ます。
誠実さだけと歌の上手さだけが取り柄です。（アイドルをボイスで練習中など）
その中でも小説は私にとって命と同意義です。
満足させられなければ価値なんて私にはありません。
だからこそ貴方様の様な方がたの心に響く小説を描きたいです。
人生は勉強ですしね。笑
気にしてないですが糧になりました。
本当に厳しいご意見などには感謝でした。
有難う御座います。
大変嬉しいかったです。
作者様に水を差したとは以前の別の方にも言われましたが、無い、です。
そう思っていません。
ブレブレだった小説の魂に魂をさらに吹き込めた。
それを誰が水を差したと言いますか？あり得ません。
私は読者様にご指摘をいただき成長しております。
面白いとおっしゃって下さり最早並々ならぬ感謝しか御座いませんわ、
今度は消さない様に時折ちょくちょく改稿しながら突っ走ります！^ - ^
勇気が貰えました。
貴方様に幸あれ。
有難う御座います！
アキノリ
編集済
第8話（超絶改稿）侵食への応援コメント
うーん…。
記憶では以前は性行為まではいってなかったので、流もヒロインとして頑張ってほしいと思っていましたが。
改稿後はまた一周回ってきっちり鞠のモノを口で奉仕して、しかも性病まで移されているのは救いようないかなと思いました。
いくら親しい人といっても、彼氏に相談もせずに裏切り行為してまで救おうってのはどうなのかなって感じです。
作者様的にはヒロインを陽毬に絞ったって感じですかね…。
別に心から裏切っていたわけではないとしても如何せん、もう性奉仕して性病までっていうのは手遅れかな〜って個人的に思います、ヒロインとしては。
ヒロインとして義妹も好きだった私的には少しショックでした。
ただあくまで作品は作者様のものなので、読者は無理だなと思ったらそこで離れればいいだけの話ですからね、あまり気にはなさらないでください。
これからも執筆活動頑張ってください、応援しております。
作者からの返信
@kk283様。アキノリです。
この度は貴重なお時間で長文のご感想とご意見。
誠に有難う御座います。
感謝致します。
ハートなども有難う御座います。
一作者として嬉しく思います。
ご記憶の通りですね。
一応ですが今回は性行為まではしてない、と表現しております。
がここら辺が分かり辛いのは私の表現力不足です。
大変申し訳ありません。
流もヒロインとして頑張ってほしい、と思っていました。
また性病の感染は救いようがない。
彼氏に相談もせずに裏切り行為をしたのはどうかなって感じ。
ヒロインとして義妹も好きだった私的にはショックだった。
此方の文章が大変身に染みます。
この様な改稿で貴方様を満足出来なかったのは痛恨の極みです。
申し訳ないです。
ここで言い訳をするつもりはありませんが私は、読者様を大切にし私なりの小説、を書きたいと思っています。
なので改稿してこの様な感じにしました。
これはどういう意味かといえば、読者様を満足させて私も満足出来ればそれで良いな、って思いました。
ただしこれで貴方様が満足しなかったのは痛恨の極みです。
そこら辺は反省として活かしたいと思います。
長文で言い訳の様な形になり申し訳ありません。
私にとっては読者様は神様とは思っております.....が、確かにその通りですね。
無理だったら離れる、という形は取ってもらって構いません。
本音を言えば離れてほしくはないですがそれは個人の自由ですので。
ただしここでお伝えしますがあくまで陽毬に絞った訳ではありません。
そして気にはあまりしてないです。
有難う御座います。
しかし貴方様を満足に導く事が出来なかったのは痛恨の極みです。
そういう読者様も居る。
それを身に刻んでこの先も活動します。
応援に感謝致します。
それからご感想は御感想は其方側の操作以外はメリハリを私につける為、一切合切、消す気はないですのでそこら辺を悪しからずにお願い致します。
この度は本当に本当に有難う御座いました。
アキノリ
編集済
第8話（超絶改稿）侵食への応援コメント
言葉の問題ですが
「打つかった」は「ぶつかった」と仮名に開く方が一般的に読みやすいと思います。「打つ」は全部開いていいと思います。
改稿で緊迫感と切実さがアップして面白くなっています。
気になったのは警察官の描写で、まず到着時の人数が分からないので警察官らしく2名で来ていることにした方が不良3人を取り押さえた説得力が出ると思います、
あと「警察官は激昂しながら」とありますが、警察官はあくまでも冷静でありながら威嚇していかないといけないので激昂という表現は不適切かと思います。
次回も楽しみにしています。
作者からの返信
みどりの様。アキノリです。
この度もご感想誠に有難う御座います。
感謝致します。
有難う御座います。
そうですね。
確かに、ぶつかった、の方が良さげな感じはしますね。
なので取り敢えずは改稿しました。
有難う御座います。
到着時の人数が分からないのは私の記載ミスです。
正確には２名を想定して書きました。
それから不良の方は３名ではなく２名ですね。
これも分からないのは私の表現力不足かと思います。
申し訳ありません。
これからも少しずつですが改稿しようと思います。
激昂も似合わないですね確かに。
恐れ入ります。
そこら辺も改稿しました。
次回がどうなるか分かりませんがお楽しみに居て下されば嬉しいです。
取り敢えず失望はさせない様にしたいです。
頑張ります。
アキノリ
第5話（超改稿）絶望に落ちる時への応援コメント
ここのはなしで流が「多分性病」と告げますが、のちの話を読むとすでに加療中であることが判明するので、ちょっと表現を変更された方がよいと思います。
……多分性病
↓
……性病の症状。
(もしくは「性病の典型的な症状が出てる」)
くらいの方がいいと思います。
流に性病をうつしてしまった毬がどこから性病を貰って来たか(やけになって風俗に行きまくっていたくらいでいいと思いますが)っていうのも読者としては気になるポイントですね。
作者からの返信
みどりの様。アキノリです。
この度はコメント有難う御座います。
遅くなりました。
ご指摘有難う御座います。
成程。🧐
長文を前回もですが有難う御座います。
お褒めも頂き感謝と共にユーザーフォローや星とレビューまで有難う御座います。
いつか身体が調子が良い時に小説を読ませてもらいますね。
小説を書いている人なのかそういうお仕事なのか分かりません。
文章のご指摘がお上手ですね。
性病に関してはご指摘の通りもありまして検討した結果。
修正しました。
さあ.....鞠は何処で性病を移されたのか。
それはまだ内緒ですが.....風俗では無いとは思います。
それだけでは面白みがないので。
でもまあまだまだ言えません。
どういう感じになるんでしょう。
読者様に期待を持たせる事が出来て光栄です。
消してしまったのは態とでは無いのですがまあ良かったかな、と思います。
改稿作業中に段落を設定するので機械音痴なもので消してしまいました。
間違いも甚だしいですね。
この度は有難う御座いました。( ；∀；)
本当に悲しいですがここから頑張ります。
アキノリ
編集済
第7話（超絶改稿）絶望への反撃への応援コメント
改稿頭から読ませていただきました。
ブレの無い一本の筋の通ったストーリーになりましたね。ここから主人公たちがどうやって毬に反撃を加えていくのか。
自分のことを穢れていると思ってしまっている流をどうやって心の底から救うのか、もしくは見放して陽毬と付き合ってしまうのか。
傷ついているヒロインが二人になったので改稿により物語がより複雑になりましたね。
見どころが沢山ある物語になったと思います。この先の展開を楽しみにしております。
作者からの返信
みどりの様。アキノリです。
この度はわざわざコメント有難う御座います。
何時もお世話になっております。前回はかなりお世話になりました。
あれから見返しました。
今回はミスで小説を全て消してしまいました。
しかしまあ良かったと私自身は思いますね。
でもこの先がどうなるか想像もつきません。
ブレは全て無いと確信はしております。
ですが様々な方々の意見で初めから書こうという意識が湧きました。
全てにおいて感謝致します。
みどりの様もそうですが読者の皆様に出会えて本当に良かった、と思います。
成長を身を持って感じます。
陽毬と流は裏表ヒロインで定めましたね。
頑張りました。
まあど素人なのでまた改稿するかもですが頑張ります。
お楽しみにお待ち下さい。^ - ^
みどりの様。本当に有難うございます。
アキノリ
第6話（超改稿）ダメージへの応援コメント
Mr Mari sounds like scum, he was raised in the same environment as Himari, so why is he so different?? Google doesn't get all of subtleties of what is written so I miss some references to things that happen and it isn't till it is referenced again in later parts that I can sometimes fill in the gaps! By having Himari stay with Ryu and Shun for a while, she will be protected. Himari's blush at Shun's invitation, is that because she has feelings for Shun that she has been hiding because him and Ryu were together?
作者からの返信
I hope you can interpret this matter in this way. First of all, why are Mari and Himari so different in personality? I will mention it later. As for Himari, I think you'll understand if you look at it later. Since then, I feel very inadequate because I could not satisfy you even though you always send me your impressions. This is complete incompetence. I apologize for the inconvenience and thank you for reading.I am sorry.
akinori
第5話（超改稿）絶望に落ちる時への応援コメント
If Himari was suffering abuse from her older brother, did she tell Ryu, why not talk to Shun? did Ryu decide to talk because of Shun's and And Himari's phone conversation the night before??Has Ryu come completely clean?
作者からの返信
that's right. I kind of understand what you mean. These were the expressions I should have said to Himari immediately. However, because I wrote it with a feeling like it was spoiled, I ended up with this kind of expression. If you don't know the expression around that, it's a lack of ability. I am very sorry.I will try to revise it to make it easier to understand.
akinori
第4話（超改稿）エロゲマンへの応援コメント
Why did Ryu come to the classroom?? Does she have something unexpected to do after school??
作者からの返信
Ryu said that the teacher called for Shun and came to teach. It's a complete lack of power that you don't know the expression around here. I'm thinking of revising something. I'm sorry, but until then, I don't think I can understand it because it's hard to read. It's also underpowered. I am very sorry.
akinori
第3話（超改稿）堕ちゆく世界への応援コメント
is Ryu going out with Himari's older brother??
作者からの返信
That's how it is with the person you're dating. How will this turn out? I would like to tell you to look forward to it, but it seems that you are reading this work. Excuse me. Thank you for your precious time.
akinori
第2話（超改稿）否定の想いへの応援コメント
Shun was trying to stay calm while talking to Ryu, Ryu either puts up a good front or she feels like she hasn't done anything wrong and has nothing to hide,
作者からの返信
Thank you very much. Thank you for your repeated comments. As always, please understand that I am not confident in the text of this reply. Actually, the reading is not Ryu but Nagare. The name Nagare means a meteor. I think they both read the same. I'll leave it there because it's what to do with recognition. It looks like you've already read about flow, but it's a little different. Please look forward to it. I'm sorry. This novel may be revised. Therefore, it may differ from what you recognize, but please understand that it is an online novel.
akinori
第1話 ３つの心への応援コメント
interesting start, Shun knows two girls, girlfriend-stepsister Ryu, childhood friend Himari, while he was shocked seeing his girlfriend dating someone else, Himari calmed him down and asked him to think about watching her to get the evidence, Himari cares for him, I'm not sure if it is just as a friend.
作者からの返信
That's what it says. Thank you for your thought.Thank you very much. However, this is an immature novel. So I don't know if I can satisfy you. And I don't understand English. This one uses google translate. So if my English is strange, please recognize my lack of ability. If you don't understand the translation, it's also a lack of ability to write a novel. I can always tell that you are supporting me with all your might. From now on, I will slowly reply to your supportive comments. Thank you.
akinori
第5話（超改稿）絶望に落ちる時への応援コメント
初めてコメントします。
うわぁ～ん、良かったよ～、流ちゃんが浮気してなくって～（＞＜）
でも、悪いから別れるって、ハンサムな女性だ！
NTRタグがあるから、ちょっと今後の展開が心配だけど
出来れば皆幸せになりますように。
作者様、応援してます。
作者からの返信
龍淳 燐様。アキノリです。
この度は有難う御座います。（汗）
そんなに仰って下さる感想誠に有難う御座います。（滝汗）
お初にお目に掛かります。
流ちゃんの全ての流れは決まっていましたがお話がこんな大ウケするとは思いませんでしたので嬉しく思います。
正直言って有難いものですね。
感謝致します。
全てを救う為に自らを犠牲にしたみたいなのでその分は幸せになってほしいですよね、と思います。
今後に悪いから別れるっていうのもお見事だと思います。
何というか.....流なりの最大の配慮でしょうね。
因みに懸案のNTRタグはまあ.....今後のアレですね。
保険.....？なのか分かりませんが保険みたいな感じです。
それが最大限に活かされるか活かされないかは今は言えませんが.....でも正直言って私がバッドエンドが嫌いなものでして。
他でも書いていますがバッドエンドがめっちゃ嫌いです。
なのでバッドエンドにはならないですね。
どう巡り合わせになるかは分かりませんしこの先も分かりませんがそれだけは言えるでしょうね。
みんな幸せになる事を望んでくれて有難う御座います。
取り敢えずは試行錯誤。
そして全てに愛を持ってして挑ませて頂きます。
感謝致します。
それから私にまで労いを有難う御座います。（滝汗）
アキノリ
第4話（超改稿）エロゲマンへの応援コメント
そのゲーム持ってるなー。
しかも七海ちゃんは義妹だし、めちゃんこ可愛いよね。
ちなみに私の推しは茉優パイセンです。