let's loot

第4話 "You're a clown."

Chen Xun skidded across the dusty ground like a thrown potato sack, groaning theatrically as he tumbled to a stop. Propping himself up on one elbow, he brushed the dirt off his sleeve with exaggerated care, as if trying to salvage his shredded dignity. "Ah, my spleen!" he muttered under his breath, wincing for effect.

The woman with the five-fold cultivation of body tempering—let's call her Five-Fold Fury—stood tall, her shadow looming over him like a vengeful deity. She cracked her knuckles one by one, the sound echoing ominously. "Got any more tricks up your sleeve, or are you fresh out of Qingfeng palms?" she sneered.

Chen Xun coughed, holding up a hand. "Wait, wait! Let's be reasonable here! You’ve already knocked a year off my life with that punch. How about we just call it even, huh? No need for further violence!"

Five-Fold Fury raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Even? You sent my teammate flying like a kite in a thunderstorm. You think *this* is over?"

From the sidelines, Lin Yu sighed dramatically, as if this whole ordeal were cutting into his valuable tea-drinking time. "Miss Zuo, do try not to kill him. We might actually need this fool for something later. Like bait."

Chen Xun's jaw dropped. "Bait? Young Master Lin, you wound me! I thought we were negotiating my promotion to guard status!"

"Promotion?" The man Chen Xun had slapped earlier, now crawling back to his feet with a face full of righteous indignation, pointed an accusing finger. "You mean demotion! Guards are supposed to protect their masters, not turn everyone into projectiles!"

"Ah, semantics." Chen Xun waved dismissively, pulling himself up onto wobbly legs. He adjusted his robe, which had somehow managed to gather more dust than an unused broom in a corner. "What’s important here is that we’ve all learned something valuable today—about teamwork, perseverance, and the structural integrity of my ribcage."

Five-Fold Fury snorted. "You're a clown."

"A clown with dreams," Chen Xun replied, his hand over his heart. "And fists."

"And broken ribs," Lin Yu quipped, clearly enjoying the show.

As if on cue, Chen Xun doubled over, clutching his side dramatically. "Oh no, you've done it now, Young Master Lin! I'll need weeks of recovery, expensive medicine, and—wait for it—special permission to be reinstated as a guard! Truly, this is a tragic day for the Chen family legacy."

Five-Fold Fury rolled her eyes. "Can we skip the monologue and get back to the part where I punch him again?"

"Now, now," Lin Yu said, raising a hand to stop her. "Let’s not forget—this buffoon did *technically* offer to serve me. And besides, we all need someone to clean up after us when things get messy."

Chen Xun, sensing an opportunity, clasped his hands together and bowed deeply, ignoring the searing pain in his midsection. "I knew you were a man of vision, Young Master Lin! Allow me to pledge my loyalty and my fists to your noble cause!"

"And your spleen," Lin Yu added dryly.

"Of course, my spleen!" Chen Xun beamed, though it was clear he had no idea what his spleen actually did.

Five-Fold Fury sighed, shaking her head. "I give him two days before he gets himself killed."

"Optimistic," Lin Yu replied, already turning to walk away. "But let’s make use of him while we can. Chen Xun, fetch my tea."

"Right away, Young Master!" Chen Xun hobbled after Lin Yu, grinning like a man who had just won a consolation prize in a competition he didn't sign up for.

Behind him, the man he had slapped muttered, "Garbage."

"And proud of it!" Chen Xun called back, with a thumbs-up.