第17話 絵の題材への応援コメント
Rabbit's shirt came unbuttoned when Toshiki was struggling with ,in her sleep, to get her to let go of his clothes, he didn't notice because he had covered her just before she grabbed him. Nagatsuma remark about them looking like a married couple, is true since they have been together since early childhood and are very good friends, they know each other better than husbands and wives do and can got along then most couples that have been together less than 10 years. Momo is still not ready to ask Toshiki for help and tell him everything, she isn't going to feel comfortable with him till she does, is Nagatsuma dere dere, she has a lot of fun teasing Toshiki, Thanks for the story.
編集済
第16話 絵という自由な存在への応援コメント
Toshiki's apprentice is bothering him while Rabbit is sleeping in his room, Nagatsuma came to watch him paint, with so many interruptions will he get any work done. He is still confused about what to do, and how to get along with Momo and Rabbit, as well as Apricot, what's going to happen? Thanks for an interesting story, there are now four women involved with him in one way or another.
第15話 落ちた石ころ（超改稿）への応援コメント
Toshiki met Apricot, he heard that she was upset with Peach because she lost her dad that she loved in the divorce, then Peach leaked Apricot's video and that made her mader, after she left He saw Peach who had come while they were talking. the story between the twin sisters looks complicated and confusing, Apricot has a lot of anger in her that she doesn't know how to get rid of, Thanks.
第14話 好きって何だろうね（超改稿）への応援コメント
Toshiki is troubled and confused, he's worried about Momo and also Rabbit, he doesn't know what to do or how to handle the situation, Rabbit is pushing to make him like her more, but his head is not clear enough for him to think, Thanks.
第13話 導き出された解答（超改稿）への応援コメント
Mr. Akinori, you are not bad at writing, if your similar to me, there is so many ideas in the mind, sometimes they come out in the wrong order. The concept of twins splitting up when the parents divorce is not new nor is the fact that they have different behaviors , ideas and morals, it depends on the reason for the divorce, how the twins feel about the parent they are with, and what experiences they went through. Sometimes they don't talk about the fact that they have a twin if the two don't live close enough for others to know the two of them. I could be wrong, but to me it feels like Apricot just recently moved into the area, and Peach was involved with her for the last several months, and that was taking up her time, also either Apricot doesn't care how what she does effects Peach or she wants to cause trouble for Peach, Peach is accepting of Apricot because of something that goes back to when she got her scar or the reason for the parents divorce. Right now there are two episodes in this chapter and three in the next, Thanks for the work, I'm enjoying it as it is interesting.
第12話 すれ違う心（超改稿）への応援コメント
The Rabbit is hurting, because Toshiki is hurting, she loves him and she knows his history, she wants to help him but doesn't know how to, she had kept back her love for him because of Momo, but since he was hurt by her, he has been more depressed and having more trouble,
第11話 もう一つの嘘（超改稿）への応援コメント
Toshiki got a call from Momo, she apologised for saying to much..than says"but believe me. I'm not lewd. Please look at me..." He says "I'll do whatever it takes. I can't go out with you until I understand everything." Momo replies "yes"..."I understand"..."senpai see you tomorrow." replying with a weak feeling. Rabbit showed up to fix him something to eat, while talking about Momo's phone call, Rabbit asks him how he feels about Momo. his answer is "I don't know". Momo is a problem for him that needs to be solved as part of the solution to him painting again, as well as the relationship between him and Rabbit, thanks.
第10話 間接キス（超改稿）への応援コメント
Toshiki chased down Rabbit and tried to talk to her, he found out that she had really liked him for a long time, and the reason she started running was to spend time away from him, so that she wouldn't betray her feelings to him, witch now she had told him everything, him getting involved with Momo was when she really started to understand her own feelings.
Toshiki told her that it made him happy when she said that she liked him, he had began to think that she didn't like him anymore, and as for Momo, she was no more to him, he was through with and her lies! Rabbit opens her PET bottle and takes a drink, than unexpectedly she thrusts it into Toshiki's mouth, when she takes it back , she finishes off while tasting his saliva<an indirect kiss!>, they were both shy and turning red, than a girl caught their eyes, she met a boy under a tree and they kissed, the boy was Nano, and he hadn't said anything about having a girlfriend, Thanks.
編集済
第9話 兎の想い（超改稿）への応援コメント
Rabbit confessed to Toshiki and got upset, because Peach was there, and it seems like she didn't get the answer she wanted fast enough from Toshiki so she ran away after saying, "I didn't want Toshiki to know, so I started running." Momo tried to get Toshiki to draw, but he said "...Peach....I missed you." "this time, you're the one to lose." Than Toshiki took off after Rabbit, thanks for the story, is Rabbit a tsundere?, hiding her feelings from Toshiki for so long, maybe if she didn't hide them he might not of quite painting,<never know>, Toshiki believed Peach's was lying just by the scar on her ankle. I know that the shorter I keep my post that the easier it is to understand, I can't find the phrases to use to keep it short, it's an exercise just to get the words in the right order and places.
第8話 最高の絵とは（超改稿）への応援コメント
Momo it looks like you were shaken. Now Rabbit and Orihime are working a plan to get Toshiki back to painting again, it's not going to be that easy, with his nerves causing an acid stomach, he might have an ulcer and if I understood right he stop painting before meeting Momo, now Rabbit with her love and wanting to make a family with Toshiki might be able to help him, part of his problem is he is missing the love of family, he lives alone with no adult support, except for a yearly living allowance, he has nothing to live for, it was painting till he lost the ambition to paint ,than Momo till he sensed something was wrong and then he found out she was cheating on him, so Rabbit is all that's left if he can believe in her, THANKS for a good enjoyable and interesting story.
第7話 天使の囁きと悪魔（超改稿）への応援コメント
another female friend and more to Momo's story, she's been dating boys from other schools, it ties in with what Nano said about boys at other schools liking her, and now Orihime, said it out right that Momo has been seen holding hands with boys from other schools, Momo was playing too loose thinking by going to other schools, she wouldn't get caught , he saw the video yesterday and today he hears from two girls he knows about her and boys at other schools. While Rabbit has been acting strange, it's because she knows how hurt he will be when finding out the truth about Momo and it's her chance with Toshiki if she can get him over his heart ache, so she started to act more feminine around him, and telling him she is worried about his heart, cleaning his house more, trying to cook for him, acting shy about her underwear showing when the rain soaked her clothes, blushing more when she talks to him, doing things for him that allow her friends to tease her, as well as being more determined to get him to live with her and her family, of coarse he is noticing some of these things but he hasn't put it all together yet, thanks it's an interesting and enjoyable story.
第6話 悪天候の導き（超改稿）への応援コメント
Nano was looking at Momo like something was wrong, does she know that Momo is cheating, could it be compensated dating? Rabbit and Toshiki noticed that look, if rabbit is smart she will look up Nano and ask some pointed questions, as a girl she is more likely to get the information that Nano would be reluctant to share with Toshiki about his girlfriend, Momo's secret is coming out one way or another, there are to many hints showing up, THANKS for an interesting, enjoyable story
第5話 兎と桃（超改稿）への応援コメント
Toshiki after eating and talking some with the rabbit he sent her home, once she was gone, his depression really acted up, until he gave up and went to bed, when he woke up in the morning, Momo was standing over him and as he was trying to get her out of the room so he could change his clothes, the rabbit showed up, then the rabbit asked Momo if she had done anything wrong, when she answered back "what wrong? what is it?", the rabbit declares that it's okay, than they leave the room, thanks.
第4話 家庭的な味（超改稿）への応援コメント
I believe more and more that the rabbit cares for Toshiki, she talks about someone who gave her a chance, but doesn't say a name, she gets emotional when he does, she keeps asking him to come live with her at her parents house, right now she's living alone in the same apartment building, she wouldn't stay close if she didn't like him, and the phrase "I'm worried about Toshiki heart", thanks.
第3話 描けなくなった刻（超改稿）への応援コメント
rabbit was shocked to hear her thoughts come out of Toshiki's mouth, she dreams of being his wife, he got a girlfriend before she realised, she also loved his paintings, she cleans his house and cooks for him so that he will think of her as a girl not a tomboy who is a friend, but a sex partner.
第2話 裸足と絵（超改稿）への応援コメント
rabbit likes Toshiki.
第1話 ３０秒の３分（超改稿）への応援コメント
interesting opening
作者からの返信
thank you always. It's Akinori. Thank you again for your feedback. I can only thank you. thank you so much. Thank you for saying that it was an interesting start. I will reply to other comments, but please understand that it will take a lot of time. I am sorry to hear that you have other comments. Always supporting me. I can only thank you.
akinori
第13話 導き出された解答（超改稿）への応援コメント
ここで間髪を入れず足首のキズの有無を確かめるのが脳ミソのある人の行動だと思うが
サルでもわかる重要ポイントをササっと確認させなかったのはお話の作りとしては少し残念
作者さん的にこのタイミングで確認させたくないのなら、設定変更してお尻の痣にでもしておくほうが自然かと
……などと、ちょっと突っ込んでしまいましたが、あくまでただの感想ですのでお気になさらぬようお願いします
作者からの返信
@kusobouzu様。アキノリです。
この度はご感想、誠に有難う御座います。
感謝致しますと共に。
分析、大変恐れ入ります。
貴重なご意見となりますね。
まあそうですね。
話の作りとしては未熟なのは重々承知です。
そこら辺の話については.....捻りが足りなかったと認識しております。
それからあくまでストレートに読者様に分からせようとしたが為に色々と納得がいかない部分が成立したのでしょうね。
一応これでも溜めたつもりでした。
未熟です。
万人受けするのはなかなか難しいです。
因みに今回、＠kusobouzu様を納得出来なかったのは力量不足です。
それに至っては、満足出来させず残念、と思います。
今回、貴重なお時間を使ってもらったにも関わらず申し訳ないです。
設定はこのままいきます、が。
納得しなかったら取り敢えずどうにかするかと思います。
そのうち何とかします。（苦笑）
この度はご感想、分析を頂きまして感謝致します。
宜しければまたいつか読んで下さい。
アキノリ
第17話 絵の題材への応援コメント
兎よ
男と2人きりの部屋で寝てておっぱいのひとつも揉まれないとか、そんなんでええんか
作者からの返信
@fsemode様。アキノリです。
感想が誠に申し訳ないです。
お返事が遅くなりました。
この度は感想有難う御座います。
そうですね。
まあそんなのにも興味無さそうですしね.....俊樹さんは。
だから敢えて描写してないですね。
何かあったら改稿するかもしれませんが.....。
まあおっぱいの一つも揉まれて欲しかったですねぇ.....。（ゲス顔）
アキノリ
第17話 絵の題材への応援コメント
여전히 수상한 모모
作者からの返信
이분까지 감상을 주셔 감사합니다.정말로 기쁠 뿐입니다.과 함께 또 이런 번역에 의한 답밖에 할 수 없어 죄송합니다.그렇군요.확실히 수상한 체면입니다.지금부터 또 여러 가지로 이야기가 진행됩니다.지켜봐 주세요.잘 부탁드립니다.읽어 주어서 기쁘게 생각합니다.
NTR가 조금 관계 없어서 죄송합니다.
アキノリ
第15話 落ちた石ころ（超改稿）への応援コメント
주인공과 모모가 헤어지면서 NTR태그가 회수된걸까요. 뭔가 NTR느낌이 안들던데...
作者からの返信
송구합니다.답장이 매우 늦어졌습니다.죄송합니다.이번에는 귀중한 시간을 할애하고 감상을 써 주신 것에도 불구하고 이런 아주 서툶인 번역으로밖에 인사를 할 수 없어 죄송합니다.또 감상을 준 것, 감사합니다.또 기회가 있으면 감상을 써 주세요.아키 김
アキノリ
第15話 落ちた石ころ（超改稿）への応援コメント
ホントは父親が対処しなきゃいけないよね
会社の役職とかと違って父親ってのは例え戸籍がわかれようが生涯その娘にとって父親なんだから
作者からの返信
@fesemode様。アキノリです。
この度は再度、ご感想を頂きまして感謝致します。
前回はすいませんでした。
誤解する様な内容でしたね。
恐れ入ります。
本当は確かにその通りですね。
父親が対処しないといけないのですが.....まあそういう系統は後程に出て参りますよ。
今はまだ出て来ませんが。
でも後に必ず出て来ますね。
そうですよね。
父親がどうあれ娘にとっては生涯の娘。
だからこそ因縁に決着をつけて欲しいですけどね。
悲しみにの全てに、です。
ハートやらで応援有難うございます。
感謝致します。
嬉しく思います。( ；∀；)
頑張ります。
アキノリ
第15話 落ちた石ころ（超改稿）への応援コメント
NTRもの大好きだぜーと15話まで一気読みしました。
感想としては・・・面白い面白くないの前に日本語の使い方が凄く気になりました・・。
大丈夫そうですか？
作者からの返信
厚切りボンレスハム様。アキノリです。
この度はご感想有難う御座います。
感謝と同時にご指摘に感謝いたします。
有難う御座います。
一気読みっすか。有難う御座います。（苦笑い）
そうですねぇ.....。
面白いのか面白くないのか、は置いておいて。
その。大丈夫そうですか、と言われたら大丈夫ではない、と思います。
はっきり言って見返してはいますがなかなか。
今までの小説ですが私自身が勢いで書いている部分もあります。
凄く気になるかと思います。
文章がヘタクソで大変申し訳ありません。
恐れ入ります。
これから先もビシバシご指摘下さい。
此方の小説ですが今はクソ忙しいので後に暇になったらそれなりに改訂するつもりです。
まだ文章推敲のお勉強が足りないと思っております。
フォローとかハートとか大変お世話になっていますがそれに見合うものが完成出来ず申し訳ありません。
これからももし良かったら読んで下さい。
色々とすいません。
これから頑張ります.....。
アキノリ
第8話 最高の絵とは（超改稿）への応援コメント
어째서 본인에게 직접 물어보고 확인하지않고 자꾸 헤어지고싶다는 말만 할까요? 이해가 안되네
作者からの返信
그 근처에 관해서는 아직 표현의 역부족입니다.자기만족으로 쓰고 있는 것 같은 소설입니다.또 개정하려고 합니다.이번에는 미숙한 졸저에 감상 감사합니다.한국어는 서투르므로 번역되어 있지 않으면 죄송합니다.
編集済
第13話 導き出された解答（超改稿）への応援コメント
すみません
あくまでこの子へのツッコミでした！
作者様の話の構成に文句があるわけじゃないので誤解させたようでしたらお詫びします、、
-------------------------------
いや、先言えや
作者からの返信
@fsemode様。アキノリです。
この度は感想有難う御座います。
感謝致します。
確かにその通りですね。
まあ何というかここから先は後程に事情を記す予定でした。
先に書けば良かったかな。
大変分かりづらく申し訳ないです。
文章力不足です。
後程に分かりやすく改訂しようとは思います。
この度は拙著を読んで下さり有難う御座いました。
感謝致しますと共に。
お時間を頂戴しました。
追記）@fsemode様。アキノリです。
この度もコメントを寄せて下さり大変有難く思います。
後程、返事書きます。
というかわざわざご感想の説明の為に感想を編集頂きましてお手を煩わせた事、大変恐縮です。
恐れ入ります。
謝らなくて大丈夫です。
私も誤解を与えたと思います。
恐れ入ります。
でもその。
いや、先言えや、は私の文章は元からマジに狂っているので.....グサッときた的確なアドバイスと受け止めれるものでした。
別の意味に捉えれて嬉しく思います。
この小説ですがその場のノリで書いているのは事実です。
恐れ入ります。
誤解などという以前にコチラが先ず小説として成り立っているのか不安に感じます。
なので何か心に悪い気がしているのならそれは間違いだと言っておきますね。
根本は文章力無い私が悪いので.....。（苦笑い）
でも本当に有難う御座います。
アキノリ
第10話 間接キス（超改稿）への応援コメント
マジカルチン〇、竿男か？？？？
作者からの返信
@gonntakun様。アキノリです。
この度も感想有難う御座います。
それからハートなども感謝致します。
大変嬉しく思います。
有難う御座います。
さてどうなんでしょうね。（暗黒の笑み）
竿男かどうか.....その目で見極めて下さい。
実際まだ先の話を明かせませんが観て下さると嬉しいです。
マジカルチ◯ポwww
最高ですねネーミングが。
まあそうなるかと思いますが.....どう歪むか。
それを是非ご覧下されば幸いです。
この度は数ある小説の中よりご感想、誠に有難う御座います。
いつもお世話になってますね。
大変感謝しか御座いません。^ - ^
有難う御座います。
アキノリ
第18話 推しへの応援コメント
Nagatsuma telling Toshiki that she thinks he would be happier with Rabbit rather than Momo, Rabbit is steadier,more aware of others, she consistent with her actions,she thinks before she commits and then as long as the other party doesn't do anything wrong she stays committed, she is stronger than Momo in so many ways and Nagatsuma likes her better, thanks, I'll be waiting patiently.