前のエピソード――第11話 August 1984 --Chapter 11--

　　　There still were no other people than Melba and I in the show-restaurant.

　　　"On my first day off..," continued Melba. "Well, how can I describe that almost-three-hour bus ride to my hometown? ..That was indeed extraordinary, at any rate. That was my first homecoming, to begin with. And having worked at Sakura for two weeks, I had a few hundred pesos of cash with me, which I had earned virtually only by talking with Mr. Takano. ..Oh, 'Ate', a plenty of chocolates for my sisters also were in my purse then.

　　　"No, no. They weren't so relevant here. ..I was heading toward my home with something so huge in my mind. ..Tremendously big a plan of rebellion against my own parents? Well, what I was going to do soon began looking that way to me as I was being carried on the bus to my hometown.

　　　"As the bus approached closer to it, my heart beat got faster and faster. And eventually I got off the bus and took a ride on a tricycle to my home. ..During the tricycle ride, being more agitated, I told myself many, many times, 'You can not go ack, Melba, because this is what you already decided.' 'You have to have your stepfather know he wasn't fair to you.' 'You must tell your parents this time, with a loud and clear voice, that you still want to study in college.' 'You must carry out your rebellion plan with no hesitation, unless your mother's illness has gotten worse in the past two weeks.'"

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　　　"Except Barney and Robin who were at their schools, all of my family members, including Elena held in Rosa's arms, warmly welcomed me. For the first time in two weeks, I was in front of our small rented house, surrounded by the people now totally dependent on me financially. Their faces, excluding Elena's, needless to mention, were showing their mixed feelings consisting of joy, expectation, concern, curiosity and/or something similar to those.

　　　"What I paid my attention first to was my mother"s health. 'Is she better now than two weeks ago?' 'Is she healthy enough both physically and mentally to stand my rebellion?'

　　　"Well, she looked better than I had anticipated. She looked healthier than two weeks before. ..And it was a few hours later that I found such my observation on her had been too optimistic and too wishful.

　　　"Then, still being unsure if it's right for me to do it in front of my sisters, I handed to my mother the money I had earned at Sakura, anyway. ..Gratitude and relief? Mother smiled a kind of smile I had never seen before, and crossed herself. Turning away from her, Stepfather just looked up at the sky.

　　　"Inside the house, lunch was ready. And we enjoyed the dishes, prepared better than usual, in almost fiesta-like air. While eating, I told them how my life in Manila had been, trying to picture it as much pleasant as I could. With their eyes wide open, Rosa and Maria were giving me their very curious ears. And then, having let my sisters leave the table with the chocolates I had brought to them, I told my parents about my job at Sakura. ..The time to rebel was nearing."

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　　　"Finally, I opened fire." Melba went on. "Well, I knew very well that I had to pull the trigger with a well-determined tone, before my parents expressed too many thanks to me. ..Before my determination got faltered as I saw my parents', especially my mother's, deep gratitude to me. However, 'Ate' Trina, I wasn't determined at all when I actually opened my mouth. ..I was compelled to re-discover how young and weak I was, or how obedient I had been and still was to my parents.

　　　"I had thought about many, many times on the bus and tricycle how to speak out my first words to my parents. I had even practiced them in my mouth repeatedly so that I shouldnft fail. I had been going to say like this, 'Ate': 'Father, you must work. Even in Middle East. Even as a laborer. You must work much more and harder for your family.'

　　　"Don't they sound shocking, 'Ate'? Or effective? But what came out of my mouth first was nothing like that at all, in fact. ..I told my mother, 'Mother, I've met so kind and good Japanese man at Sakura. He is...'"

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　　　"What I actually uttered was helplessly low-key and surprisingly peace-loving." Melba shook her head several times. "None of those prepared words came out of my mouth when I once directly faced my parents. And, after that moment, there were no chances at all for me to say, 'Father, it has to be you who must work...' or 'Why is it me..?'

　　　"My planned rebellion against my parents simply came to an end in such a quick manner, way before it was carried out. ..Well, the truth is, I somehow managed to complete my story about Mr. Takano's kind offer. But I could'ft speak out, after all, even such a modest words, like, 'If our family's financial situation permits, I'd like to accept Mr. Takano's offer and ask you, Father and Mother, to allow me to study in college.'

　　　"Having listened irritatingly to my explanation about Mr. Takano's offer, Mother told me, first of all, 'Come to your senses, Melba, for God's sake. She repeated the words many times. Then, she added, 'The Japanese man just played a joke on you, I believe.' 'Otherwise, he was going to deceive you.' 'In this real world, there can't be a man who offers such a generous help without expecting any return from you.' 'Besides, for a start, you don't know at all yet who the Japanese man is, do you?' 'You're out of your mind to have given such a serious ear to such a stranger.'

　　　"Common senses? Or wisdom we live out with? Anyway, most of what Mother told me were exactly what had been on my mind when Mr. Takano had offered me that help.

　　　"For my parents, I still was an easy daughter to persuade. They didn't waste too many words before bringing me back to be a good.., good oldest daughter.

　　　"Can you believe this, 'Ate' Trina? By the midnight of the day, I came to believe almost all my parents had talked to me earlier about Mr. Takano's true intention, though they had included such silly warnings as, 'The Japanese man may be cheating you into prostitution.' 'Otherwise, he may have an intention to make you his mistress.' ..Funny, isn't it?"

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　　　"No, that's not funny, Melba." I responded. "Takano-san's offer might have sounded unrealistic to anyone's ear, more or less. Let alone, to the ears of your parents', who truly cared about you, who had never seen Takano-san face to face. Besides, I think, it was natural that you got to believe what your parents had told you, because you are such a good daughter by nature."

　　　"Mother told me," said Melba, "that, from what my real father had done to her, I must have learned how evil a human being could be, and added, 'It was your real father, Melba, who, by his cruel violence, turned our peaceful family to such a horrible place, who plotted to bring our family into this miserable condition, wasn't it? And the man you're talking about is simply a foreigner you virtually don't know. For him, wasn't it too easy to deceive you? You don't know yet, Melba, exactly what the real world is, because you just started working in it. Nonetheless, you surely remember what kind of person your real father was, don't you? In this world, you don't come across good people too often. No, that's not enough. To be wise, you might as well assume you live in this world surrounded by evil people. Please, Melba, forget about such a mirage-like college life before too late, at least, until our family life gets settled in a little better condition. ..Until my health gets well completely. ..For about two years, maybe.' I was giving my ear to her without a word. And what Mother was telling me sounded to me much more rational than Mr. Takano's offer."

　　　Melba paused, and took a deep breath. "And it was s little after that moment that Mother confessed to me somewhat sheepishly, 'To tell you the truth, Melba, I'm told by my doctor that I should be hospitalized within two to three weeks, at the latest, to get intensive treatment.'"