The portrait

The portrait

　My travel purpose was not her. It was to look at the landscape that name “Flower garden in Alltel Velva”. In short, I found the portrait of her that was accident. She was in the small gallery as to know only local people and there were on narrow alley enclosed brick-build houses. She was turning to look at our world with smile. In spite of she was painted on a little canvas. There was a white mountain, a blue lake and a green hill on behind her. While I thought that in where the portrait was painted, I was remembering her.

　When I was a 2nd years-student in high school, I met her. In spite of she often slept in class, her mark was not bad. She came of a good family. So she came to school by luxury car with a chauffeur every day. But those memories don’t remind her. Why I could memorize of her, it because of we were strange relation. We were not lover and not friend. But we embraced in vacant class room, in corridor and the stairs after school. It didn’t have erotic constituent. It was just like to slip into bed for get relief and warm in winter. So we’ve never done except that. I think it was strange or miraculous to young. If my son or daughter has something as our relation with someone, I lean my head to one side. Well, why we got that relation. It was very strange too.

　One day the rainy season began, I was running to back home in heavy rain. Then, the luxury car slow down and run beside me. And car window slid down.

“If you like, you can get into my car” she stuck her head out of the window and said.

I got into her car, while I appreciated her kindness. I sat next to her and said “Thank you”. Then…I have no recollection of one week from the time. And she got it as well.

We lost consciousness on the same time. After that, we started to embrace. No, it doesn’t have enough explanation. I mean we lost consciousness on the same time and we got a strange illness on the same time. The illness fell our body temperature little by little. Luckily I could raise it by some antibiotic. However it was temporary. That’s why we had to take the medicine many times a day. But we finally found a way to raise our body temperature. Yes, it was embrace. When we found the way, I tried to pick up a rubber that she dropped. And then we touched a hand each other. I can still remember the scene clearly now. I actually felt the sun raised my body. She felt it too. She was surprised, recoiled and she laughed joyfully. After that we desired our hands, fingers, skin, legs and all of our body. Of course we hadn’t done before I said. And libido was never happened. It was incomprehensible. It was just warm, peaceful and feeling good. And I couldn’t get such the shiny warmth with other person. It just gave me libido. Our strange relationship was still kept after graduation from high school. But the number of times decreased. Because she went to abroad for her parent’s working reason. She came back to Japan once in few months. We contacted each times and spent time for embrace. But the relation was suddenly finished without harbinger, because we recovered my health from the illness. It was really sudden and like finished everything in dream. We became unnecessary each other. We contact couple of times, and then our relation faded away as if snow melted away.

　And now, I met her again. It had been for several decades. Although she became more beautiful than when I saw her last, she was definitely on the portrait. At first I thought it was my misunderstanding, but her name was spelt on the title.

“Excuse me” I called the owner who was sitting down the chair.

“Can I help you, sir?” he stood up and came here slowly.

“Who did draw this portrait?”

　After I asked, he nodded three times.

“My nephew had this drew by his friend. But I’m afraid, this is not for sale”

“I know this woman. We were high-school classmate... where is she now?”

　He gazed me. And then he answered “she passed away” slowly and flatly.

“Passed away” I voiced once, and next I asked “why?”

　He cast down his eyes and breathed deeply, and breathed out it at once.

“She got unknown illness 16 years ago. It fell her body temperature little by little. And finally, she was dead of pneumonia. My nephew had grieved that he couldn’t find a way to warm her until he was dead. But she was very tender. She said to him, “you are warm. It is enough for me. I am happy to meet you and I don’t have any chagrins and sadnesses in my life” …she said that”

　 I asked the place where has them grave, and then I went out the gallery. At the same time, I was recalling where I am 16 years ago. When I met my wife, associate with her and got married with her, it was correctly 16 years ago. Although I changed address, I haven’t changed phone-number, name and all of other things. Well, why she didn’t contact me? Surely she couldn’t remember me, could she? No way, we had a strange relation. And we were only could warm each other. We never are able to forget us.

　I came out from narrow alley. And I walked to the hotel I’ve stayed. When I return one block, a black cab passed beside me. At the time, wind and engine sound hit my ears. I looked up sky with no reason. In the sky, a cloud started to hide the sun. Well, how does her look like? Well, what is her name? No, who is she? What am I thinking about? I turned around. The black cab already disappeared and around here was covered by shade of cloud. The landscape that I looked in small gallery was amazing. A lot of narcissuses lead to someone who is standing on inner part of flower garden like a path. Did I do something except that? No, I didn’t.

　 I advanced on stone footpath. When I arrived in front of the hotel, I noticed my wife and children were coming back with big shopping bags. So I waved my hand to my family for signal. “I am here.”