Magic code

第16話 The Grand Emperor of Leisure

Jiang Chen stretched luxuriously, the rattan chair beneath him creaking in rhythmic protest. The sunlight painted warm patterns across his face as he tapped his fingers on the space ring resting on his finger.

“Cultivation, huh?” he murmured, eyes half-closed, a smirk curling his lips. “Do they really think I’ll waste my prime years chasing spiritual enlightenment? No, no, no! Life is short, immortal or not, and I’m here to make every second fabulous.”

He sat upright with a dramatic flair, his voice rising to address an invisible audience. “Behold! The Grand Emperor of Leisure! That’s right. Forget those tedious lectures on Dao or Qi. My destiny is to conquer the fine art of doing absolutely nothing with impeccable style!”

With a sudden burst of energy, Jiang Chen sprang to his feet and began pacing his room, gesticulating wildly. “This sect has been holding out on me! Look at these ‘cultivation resources.’ Pfft! Spiritual herbs? I see them as the perfect garnish for a five-star salad. Elixirs? Mix them with iced tea for the ultimate refreshing drink. And those shimmering crystals? They’ll look divine as part of my personal disco ball.”

His eyes gleamed as his plans took shape. “I need a name for this. *Operation: Luxe Beyond Limits.* Yes, perfect. Let the others toil in caves, sweating over ancient scrolls. I, Jiang Chen, will transform my quarters into a palace worthy of a Daoist deity!”

Chu Nianxin was deep in concentration, her brow furrowed as she traced complex symbols in the air. The secret technique was no joke, every move required precision, every syllable of the incantation an exercise in mastery. But her focus was absolute.

“This is it,” she whispered to herself. “Once I master this, Jiang Chen’s spiritual body will awaken, and his cultivation will soar. He may even shed tears of gratitude... Maybe he’ll kneel and call me ‘Master’ with reverence.”

She paused, picturing the scene. Jiang Chen, overwhelmed with emotion, bowing low before her. “Master, you’re my savior!” he would cry, voice trembling. “How could I ever repay your boundless kindness?”

The thought brought a faint smile to her lips. “Yes, that’s exactly how it will go. I’ll be his guiding light, his pillar of hope, his......”

Jiang Chen had turned his space into a hive of creative chaos. Pill bottles were now repurposed as tiny planters, sprouting delicate flowers he had found during his “relaxation walks.” Formation flags were strung across the ceiling like festive banners, and an ancient meditation mat had been reshaped into a plush lounging cushion.

“Perfect!” he declared, flopping onto the newly created cushion with a dramatic sigh. “This is what true enlightenment looks like, peaceful, cozy, and completely free of effort.”

He grabbed a crystal-clear elixir from a nearby table and swirled it like fine wine. “They say this stuff is meant to cleanse meridians, but have they ever tried it chilled with a slice of lemon? Divine.”

As he sipped, he glanced outside. Birds chirped in the distance, and a gentle breeze carried the scent of blooming flowers into his room. “If reincarnation brought me to this world, it’s only fair that I live it up. Let the others chase heavenly tribulations, I’m chasing sunsets and snack breaks.”

Determined to share her newfound secret technique, Chu Nianxin approached Jiang Chen’s quarters. She rehearsed her speech in her head. “Jiang Chen,” she would say, “I have discovered a way to help you. With this, you’ll ascend to a higher realm in no time.”

She pushed the door open, expecting to find Jiang Chen brooding over his inability to cultivate. Instead, her eyes were met with a scene that left her speechless.

There he was, sprawled on an absurdly luxurious cushion, a drink in one hand and a fan in the other. Behind him, a makeshift curtain of formation flags swayed gently in the breeze. His table overflowed with exotic fruits and snacks that sparkled like they’d been prepared by celestial chefs.

“Ah, Master Chu!” Jiang Chen exclaimed without getting up, waving lazily. “You’ve caught me in the middle of my… er… profound meditation.”

Chu Nianxin blinked. “Meditation?”

“Of course!” he said, fanning himself dramatically. “The Dao of Comfort. Very advanced. Few can achieve it.”

She stared at him, words failing her. After several moments of silence, she finally muttered, “What… exactly are you doing?”

“Living the dream,” Jiang Chen replied, gesturing grandly at his surroundings. “Would you like a pear? They’re infused with spiritual energy or so I’ve been told.”

Chu Nianxin closed her eyes, inhaled deeply, and exhaled slowly. She had prepared for many scenarios, but this? This was not one of them.

“Jiang Chen,” she began, her voice dangerously calm. “Do you know how much effort I’ve put into finding a way to help you cultivate?”

“Of course, Master Chu! And I appreciate it deeply,” he said, raising his glass. “To your unparalleled dedication!”

“…You’re impossible,” she muttered, storming out.

Jiang Chen watched her leave, shaking his head. “Cultivators they just don’t get it. Now, where did I put that crystallized peach?”