前のエピソード――第13話 August 1984 --Chapter 13--

　　　"One more time, Mr. Takano surprised me very much: Much more than the offer I've been talking about." Melba continued. "That happened in the evening he finally came back to Sakura. ..I couldn't believe for a while what was happening to me. Well, I hadn't anticipated in the first place that I would be requested by him to serve him at his table. So I greeted him very awkwardly, at the best. ..He didn't care at all about such a thing, just smiling as gently as ever before.

　　　"What Mr. Takano said to me after exhaling his first cigarette smoke also was beyond my imagination. He said, 'I'm sorry, Melba, that I can't send you back to school.' He looked somewhat sad, again. Not knowing what to respond, I carelessly said to him, 'That's fine.' ..A silly response, wasn't it? It really was a good opportunity for me to apologize him for my rude attitude to him a few nights before, by saying, like, 'No, Mr. Takano, it should be me who must say sorry...'

　　　"And it was when I was still wondering why he had had to be sorry that he added, 'But, Melba, I think I still have one more thing that I can do for you.' I had no idea what he was talking about. ..Looking into my confused eyes, Mr. Takano took my hand being laid on my lap, turned the hand palm-up, then placed an envelope on my palm, saying, 'Use this for your mother.'"

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　　　"Yes, 'Ate', that was money." Melba said in a tone of lingering disbelief. "Judging from its thickness, I knew at once that it was a big amount of money. But... I was confused, 'Ate', for I knew I hadn't told Mr. Takano of my mother's worsening illness. ..I had to ponder. And after pondering, I reached a conclusion that he must somehow have heard of it from mama Lisa, because she was the only person I had told about it after coming back from Batangas. ..Having come to know the fact about my mother's illness, Mr. Takano, I believed, must've been contemplating for a few days if there would still be something he could do for me. ..I was shocked. I was so ashamed. ..Well, what had I been thinking about him during the bus ride on the way back to Manila from Batangas? What had my parents said of him? ..He might trick me into prostitution?

　　　"Mr. Takano added, 'Now that you can use this money for your mother, Melba, do not hurry to find a job opportunity in Japan. Be careful not to get caught by such corrupt a talent production that always seeks to cheat young girls with little experience like you. Wait patiently until you find a really good chance. ..And this is all I can do for you right now.'

　　　"Because I was ashamed almost to death, indeed, it took awfully long a time before I said to Mr. Takano, 'Thank you very much.' ...And such a shameful feeling in me became even deeper when I came to believe that he surely would've sent me to college as he had promised if I had accepted his offer.

　　　"A few days later, I was speculating like this: His sorry might have meant to apologize me for his failure to mull well enough over how bad my family's financial situation might be, which in fact was so bad for my whole family as to rely solely on my shoulders, or to apologize me for his incapability to financially rescue my whole family from the on-going trouble. ..Of course, there were no reasons there for him to apologize me for anything.

　　　"Otherwise, Mr. Takano may have been wounded in his mind, realizing how terribly I was disappointed, or hurt, with my eventual finding that I no longer could go to college after all. ..Oh, yes, I think, that must've been it. He is a person who thinks about things that way. ..I believe so, now, 'Ate'. ..Later, in the dormitory bathroom, I secretly counted the money, fighting my own heart beat, and found the amount of the money in that envelope being nearly as much as my mother's full-year salary. ..Full enough money, I guessed, to cover the cost of my mother's hospitalization and following treatment, as well as my family's daily expenses and the like if necessary, at least for a few months or so, even if my wage became virtually the only source of family income during that period of time."

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　　　Melba went on. "As suggested by Mr. Takano, I opened my makeshift saving account in a bank in Ermita the following day, and deposited the money. Then, on my next off day, I went back again to my home in Batangas. ..The bus ride was totally different from the one two weeks before. In my own bank account, I had the money to pay for my mother's hospitalization and more. I had no plan of rebellion against my parents any more. So, naturally, I didn't have the same kind of mental tension or agitation as I had had during my previous homecoming. ..Well, at the same time, I no longer had any hope that I might be attending college next year, though.

　　　"At home, my parents almost lost their breaths when they learned what Mr. Takano had offered to me this time. ..Both of them, I think, were as ashamed of their misunderstanding about Mr. Takano as I had been.

　　　"I kind of knew that it's not the time for me to make them feel further embarrassed. But I couldn't help but tell them, 'Now we know that Mr. Takano was serious and sincere when he made his first offer to me, don't we? The money in my bank account is proving that he truly was so, isn't it' ..Mother looked deeply apologetic while Stepfather was aimlessly looking up to the ceiling of the room, failing to find any word.

　　　"Late in the evening of the day, Mother, with tears in her eyes, volunteered a promise to me that she would use the money only for her hospitalization and treatment as Mr. Takano seemingly wished, never for anything else.

　　　"Next day, I came back to Ermita from home early in the afternoon and, wasting no time, remitted the money to my parents' bank account. ..So, I'm sure, Mother is now receiving good treatment in a hospital near my hometown."

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　　　"Since then,'Ate', Mr. Takano has never asked me why I was so angry when I was back from my first homecoming to Batangas, never said that he still wished I could attend college someday or anything like that.

　　　"Well, I still think I have lost the same dream twice, the second time with ultimate certainty. And now I no longer have any dream of my returning to a school life. But I don't regret such a thing any more. ..Because I tried my best anyway to make my dream come true, at least once, even by attempting that rebellion. Besides, I've come to believe that I would've realized sooner or later that such dream of mine wasn't so realistic from the beginning, whether or not Mr. Takano had offered that aid to me. It may be better that such realization came to me sooner than later, because now I can concentrate myself on my current job, without any delusion, can't I?

　　　"Indeed, a variety of things have happened to me very quickly in a short period of time. They have passed by me at the speed of lightning, with strong shocks. And now, I no longer brood over anything even if I have almost too-huge obligation and responsibility to my whole family: For, thanks to Mr. Takano, now we have big money in our bank account, don't we? ..My parents are more secure financially than any other time before, aren't they?

　　　"Well, finally, Ate, it seems that everything is settled in place. So feel I now. ..Except for one thing: My question on my stepfather. ..Why has he been just hanging around his hometown when he had no stable job whatsoever there? Otherwise, my displeasure on the fact that he doesnft work hard enough.

　　　"I may be evil like my real father, 'Ate', but I still think it would be unfair if my stepfather still kept his dream to go back to a school as a teacher."

　　　"You are not evil, Melba, of course." I responded, and added, remembering my two daughters who were left under my parents' care in Bulacan Province, "I don't know what kind of dream your stepfather has, but, Melba, I believe it must be a good thing by itself for young children like your sisters to have both their parents right beside them always, together."

　　　"That's right." Melba smiled calmly. "Yo'fre right, 'Ate'. ..By thinking that way, I can feel relieved from what has been long troubling me. While living with a thought like that, I may become able to see my stepfather differently, somewhat better, someday."