The Horror Hotel

第16話 Black Wind Mountain

Tang Momo was midway through her tirade about ghost cats and poor customer service when she noticed something alarming. “Wait... where’s Jack?” She spun around, her eyes darting to the pile of meat where the undead had collapsed moments earlier.

Lin Ze frowned, scratching his chin. “Huh. That’s weird. He was right here, doing his best impression of expired beef jerky.”

Tang Momo’s voice climbed an octave. “*Weird*? Lin Ze, a zombie just Houdini-ed out of existence! That’s more than weird; that’s *alarm bells and evacuation routes* weird!”

Before Lin Ze could respond, the floor beneath them rumbled ominously. A low, guttural sound echoed around them, as if the hotel itself was clearing its throat.

“Uh-oh,” Lin Ze muttered, stepping back. “That’s the sound of... unexpected plot development.”

The ground gave way without further warning, and the two were swallowed by a swirling vortex of shadows and wind. Tang Momo screamed, clutching onto Lin Ze’s arm like her life depended on it.

“THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!” she yelled over the howling wind.

“Hey, I didn’t install the *trapdoor to hell*! Blame the ghost contractor!” Lin Ze shot back, trying to maintain some semblance of composure as they spiraled into darkness.

When the whirlwind finally spat them out, they landed in a heap of leaves and dirt. Tang Momo groaned, brushing twigs out of her hair. “Where... are we?”

Lin Ze stood, dusting himself off with the air of a man who’d done this far too many times. “Well, judging by the ominous vibes and the distinct smell of wolf pee... I’d say we’re at Black Wind Mountain.”

Tang Momo gawked at him. “*Black Wind Mountain*? The one with the killer Yaoguai? Why would we be here?!”

“Beats me,” Lin Ze said, glancing around at the shadowy forest. “Maybe it’s a loyalty program thing? Stay at the Ghost Hotel, get a free death trip to Monster Central.”

Before Tang Momo could reply, a thunderous roar shook the trees. Birds scattered, and the underbrush seemed to tremble in fear. A hulking figure emerged from the shadows, its massive horns glinting in the faint moonlight. Standing over eight feet tall, with muscles that looked like they could bench-press a small mountain, was Bullguard—the Yaoguai Chief.

“Who dares trespass in my domain?!” the creature bellowed, its voice so deep it could’ve been mistaken for tectonic plates shifting.

Tang Momo froze, her eyes wide as saucers. “Lin Ze... why is there a minotaur on steroids yelling at us?”

Lin Ze tilted his head, his expression curious. “Minotaur? Nah, that’s Bullguard. Big-shot Yaoguai. Runs this whole forest. Fun fact: he once broke a boulder with his face during a temper tantrum.”

Bullguard snorted, steam curling from his nostrils. “Silence, mortals! You have two choices: become my dinner... or amuse me with your final words.”

Tang Momo’s jaw dropped. “Final words?! What is this, a medieval talent show?”

Lin Ze stepped forward, raising a finger like he was about to deliver a groundbreaking thesis. “Bullguard, buddy. Let’s not jump to conclusions. We didn’t *mean* to trespass. Some magical whirlpool thing dumped us here. Honestly, if you’re looking for someone to blame, I’d point a hoof at the Ghost Hotel management.”

Bullguard narrowed his glowing red eyes. “Excuses. Do you think me a fool?” He stomped the ground, causing a nearby tree to keel over dramatically. “If you will not fight, you will die.”

Lin Ze turned to Tang Momo, his tone casual. “See? This is why I always carry a portable scroll of escape. Oh, wait... I forgot it. Guess we’re improvising.”

“Improvising?!” Tang Momo hissed. “Against THAT? He’s built like a brick wall that went to the gym five days a week!”

Bullguard let out a rumbling laugh. “Your fear is delightful. Prepare yourselves!”

“Hold up,” Lin Ze said, raising a hand. “Before we do the whole ‘epic showdown’ thing, can I ask you something, Bullguard?”

The Yaoguai Chief growled. “What?”

“If you had to choose,” Lin Ze said, completely straight-faced, “would you prefer beef jerky or roast chicken? Hypothetically speaking.”

Bullguard blinked, his massive head tilting slightly. “What kind of ridiculous question is that?”

Tang Momo smacked Lin Ze on the shoulder. “Are you *trying* to get us killed?!”

“Think about it,” Lin Ze continued, undeterred. “Jack disappeared, right? What if he ended up here, and *he’s* the real trespasser? He probably smelled like jerky by now. Maybe you’ve already had a snack, and you don’t even know it.”

Bullguard frowned, his hulking frame wavering as he pondered this absurd logic. “I... did sense a strange presence earlier,” he admitted, scratching his chin with a clawed hand.

Tang Momo stared at Lin Ze, incredulous. “You’re bluffing. Tell me you’re bluffing.”

Lin Ze leaned closer to her, whispering, “Always bluff until it works.”

Bullguard straightened, his red eyes narrowing again. “Enough of your games! Whether or not I ate this ‘Jack,’ you still trespassed. The penalty remains death!”

Tang Momo grabbed Lin Ze by the arm. “Okay, *genius*. What now?”

Lin Ze sighed. “Plan B.”

“What’s Plan B?!”

“Run.”

Without waiting for her to protest, Lin Ze took off into the forest, dragging a reluctant Tang Momo behind him as Bullguard roared and gave chase. The ground shook with every step the Yaoguai took, his massive horns cleaving through trees like they were made of paper.

“THIS IS YOUR PLAN?!” Tang Momo screamed as they dodged another falling tree.

“Yup!” Lin Ze shouted back, grinning. “It’s foolproof! We run until something worse shows up to distract him!”

“WORSE?!”