How cold, you ignoramus of romance

Admittance 1

　I was a high school girl who couldn't do ordinary things. I was overly self-conscious and overconfident. Going to school every day, even though it had no meaning, was torture for me.

　For me, going to school meant being corrected of my individuality and becoming a robot specialized for labor for society. From entering kindergarten to elementary school, high school, and university, it felt like an endless series of exams until finally being able to join a top company.

　Even if one managed to pass one exam, there was no time to celebrate as preparations for the next exam had to begin immediately. Even if one passed exams, if they didn't lead to getting a job at a top company, they were just warm-ups.

　The existence of exams from birth to death tormented me. I always thought the relentless effort required by society was insane.

　Believing that life would be secure if one could enter a top university is somewhat occultish. However, if getting into a top university is so crucial in life, why must one continue studying subjects other than those on the entrance exam? That's what I always wondered.

　Especially if it's clear that the exam content differs depending on the university department, is it necessary to diligently attend high school every day?

　If one thinks efficiently, wouldn't it be better to study hard on the exam content?

　If studying is not for university entrance exams but to improve the quality of life, why do people around me treat passing the university entrance exam as if it determines one's value or success?

　I couldn't accept school life. Yet, people around me went to school every day as if they had never thought about such things.

　Not only that, every month they took the results of each subject test too seriously and treated it as if it were something significant. I couldn't imagine my peers thinking seriously about or respecting anything else.

　In today's world with smartphones and computers, I questioned why we had to continue memorizing things rather than being allowed to do presentations or essays.

　What exactly about the current way of studying leads to a successful life?

　Because I was so twisted in my thinking, I couldn't make friends at school who were true friends.

　If there was a situation where I had to form groups in class, I was always left until the end.

　I thought studying at school was a waste of my limited time, a futile act, and therefore, I was considered a weirdo.

　Some students actively bullied me, and some teachers turned a blind eye to it. I knew that those around me found my stubbornness annoying.

　It was all painful, and soon after entering high school, I began to want to study for exams on my own. Of course, it was a big risk. However, I had confidence that I could prepare for the exams by myself through hard work.