Transcending Limits

第21話 Panic Disorder

After taking care of the old men on the prostitution tour, I graduated from community college. However, I was also involved in a traffic accident. While riding a taxi, I was rear-ended and hit my lower back and spine.

I went to the doctor, got an X-ray, and was diagnosed with a straight neck. I was prescribed muscle relaxants and told to remain absolutely still. However, with my dwindling living expenses, I couldn't afford to stay inactive, so I continued working.

Perhaps due to the lingering effects of the traffic accident, I was extremely irritable. In the midst of this, I was granted a day off after two months. I was in deep sleep when, in the morning, the pager provided by the office started ringing. I made the call wondering what it could be.

The president explained that he had taken a large bus to the Grand Canyon, but had forgotten to pick up the tour guests at the Mandalay Bay Hotel and had left without them. He was waiting at a souvenir shop along the way, and he instructed me to take the tour guests there.

"What is going on, seriously?" With these thoughts in my head, I reluctantly headed to the Mandalay Bay Hotel. As expected, the couple of tour guests were furious.

"We were kept waiting, and this is unacceptable."

"I'm sorry for the delay."

"What's going on with your company?"

"This time, the president was acting as the guide, and I'm really sorry. Actually, it was my first day off in two months. I was taking a nap when the company suddenly contacted me. I rushed from my apartment to the office and drove the van here."

"So what? I work hard too, in a tough job."

"I see. It must be tough for you too."

However, through exchanges like these with the tour guests, some form of communication emerged, and they came to understand that it wasn't my fault.

When I hurriedly drove the van to the souvenir shop, the president was waiting in front of the bus, looking apologetic. However, I saw through him; in high school, he was part of the drama club, and I could tell he was putting on an act.

Back at the office, while I was relaxing in the waiting room, the female manager came and said, "Kakun, about the shopping with those four men from before, the president mentioned that you were stumbling over your words."

"What is he saying? The president was the one who stumbled over his words and quickly ran back!"

I was angry. The lack of crisis management during the previous torrential rain Grand Canyon tour, and the sloppy state of affairs during this tour further fueled my frustration.

Furthermore, the stress from the traffic accident was taking its toll. While the president had offered to sponsor my green card application, I decided to leave this company. I also inquired whether I could work at the travel agency that was outsourcing work to this company.

A senior at Takahashi-kun's university, a person of the same age as me named Anzai-kun, was working part-time at the travel agency that had placed an order. He was pursuing a career as a certified public accountant while working at the company and studying accounting at university. I asked Takahashi-kun to arrange a dinner meeting with Anzai-kun at an izakaya. When I discussed the president's offer with Anzai-kun, he laughed.

After hearing about my background, he told me I could come for an interview at his company. When I went for the interview, the manager came out and we had a casual conversation, and the job was easily decided. When I returned to the office and told the president about my intention to leave and work at the travel agency that was outsourcing work to us, he was surprised.

So, I was assigned to the customer service department called "Operation" at the travel agency. The work was straightforward. For example, someone bought a souvenir at a store but didn't receive the correct change, or someone dropped their camera and didn't know what to do, or someone lost their hotel room card and needed assistance.

I couldn't do much about not receiving the correct change since I wasn't on-site, but the other inquiries weren't particularly difficult. However, the phone constantly kept ringing. Each time, as I dealt with the inquiries, I couldn't help but wonder why these things couldn't be resolved by the customers themselves.

Then, one day, I experienced an intense headache. It felt like the onset of a cerebral hemorrhage. I went to the hospital immediately. The doctor said it was a panic disorder. He prescribed Prozac, an antidepressant, and a painkiller.

However, I could only take one tablet of the painkiller at a time. He said, "You seem responsible, so I'll prescribe it to you, but be careful not to take two, or you'll feel really light-headed." It must be something like a narcotic. While I took the antidepressant and worked, it wasn't very effective, so I primarily used the painkiller. Once, when I ran out of painkillers while working, a headache hit me.

I immediately called the doctor, and he arranged for me to get a prescription from the pharmacy, but the headache persisted, making it difficult to drive. I couldn't work while dealing with such intense headaches. It's time to return home. With that in mind, I decided to quit this travel agency.

I was resting at home for a while, when Kelly and her boyfriend Jack came to visit me at my apartment. Jack said, "Kakun, strong whiskey works for headaches," and taught me that. I thought, "Well, that's true," and that's when I started turning to alcohol.